Pop it. Lock it. PokaDot it.

2009-09-23T22:55:00.002+08:00

Haven't posted in ages, will update after The E-O-Y exams.
Going to study with Joshua tomorow. Hopefully Celine and Sheri will be able to follow.
Chinese Oral was a killer.
Went to compass with Celine and sheri today.
Went to buy loads of hair accesories and stuff from montique. Me and celine made a pack and signed it with signature rings (Ask me)
Went for mass with Sheri(:
According to her, the moon is dark, phone is "fune"
We didn't “screamed”, we “scramed”. And a lexus car is too small to knock her down.

One super long post.

2009-08-29T20:58:00.000+08:00

Medical leave ends on tuesday. And I am once again reminded how fast time flies.

Happy birthday Michael.

You brought us 51 years of wonderful pop.

Today was the SJC carnival. Saw lots of people there.

Sherman, Mel, Ashley came(:

I swear I'm going to fall sick. Getting darker's a definate though. After going under the sun for so long.

Shouting you only have 45seconds and you time starts now to those people who came and patronized our store.

Went of for a sorta break with celine.

While handing out flyers to people. Gave Clarissa, Sherman and Ester like 20 each.

haha, they ran out of drinks halfway. And my throat was crying out for liquid. So I had to survive on water from the watercooler. Went for the haunted house thingy, with a few friends.

Was pretty funny, hahah. Came out laughing. this is where you go -.-

heh

Yesterday was great. We went crazy after being deprived due to Çt's.

Me, Leane, Punita and Cherylen took over orchard road man.

Walked like all over the place.

Went to Ion, far east, paragon, wisma and takashimaya. (Not in order.)

took the train or "subway" from compass after lunch at KFC. Came out at Ion.

Went to buy the baby pool from paragon at Toy's R us. Before heading over to taka where Punita got a gift for her mum.

Then it was wisma, where we stopped at Aldo and forever 21 for like some assecories. Went to ISEtan to like, fool around and camwhore abit here and there.

Then we walked to Ion where we stopped and Aldo again, cause Cherylyn wanted to get those white shades. (make you look like a bubblebee in my opinion.) But she decided not too. Then we went to cotton on, cause she wanted to see the shades there. Then i dragged them to new look where I insisted on trying all the canverse shoes. Then we went to topshop where we "raised eyebrows" at the price of even some basic tshirts. Stopped by mango for abit. Then went to starbucks cause all the walking made us thirsty. Then Cherylyn still wanted to find shades, so she wanted to go to far east plaza. But when we stopped by the orchard road map, she only saw "far east" then we ended up at far east shopping mall. So then, we walked back out to far east plaza. Stopped by nike and Mango on the way. then when we reached we walked around abit. Went to see some clothes or something. Then stopped by this "fake" specs shop where cherylyn finally got her shades. They had like all kinds of different shades. Really weird one too. But there was a "no phototaking sign" so we couldn't take any pictures. I was convinced to get a plastic black rimmed glasses that apparently makes me look quite "smart", which means I'm not smart without them ayye. I thought they were kinda geeky, but they look okay on me I guess. So after that, we walked over to tangs and MRt-ed back.

Serangoon stop was first so I got out and said by to the rest.

Rushed back for a shower, missed mass):

Had dinner with Vicky, Johann, Sherman and Clarissa before heading back to church for GB meeting with Fr. B.
Left my jacket at the market. Sherman had to cycle up to pass it to me. Feel terrible.

yeah.

Oh, before I forget, here's my common test marks.

Math: 82 (A1)

English: 76 (A1)

History: 70 (A2)

Geography: 60 (B3)

Biology:70 (A2)

Lit: 70 (A2)

Chinese: 18 (F9)

Was quite disappointed with my lit mark. Wanted an A1 but oh well.

I failed chinese brilliantly. I swear I'm hopeless in that subject.

So Long.

2009-08-26T22:41:00.000+08:00

I can't bite my tongue forever, while your trying to play it cool.

Sick of this blog.

2009-08-22T17:00:00.000+08:00

Gahhhhhhhhh.
Science is great.
Celine is the best bus buddie.
Chermaine is the best lab partner.
I want to die.
Bye.

I juzawanna sleep and never wake up.

2009-08-20T21:15:00.002+08:00

Two more weeks to the one week break. Alas, I can never phantom the mysteries of how fast the days go by in a year. It amazes me how fast time flies. How it doesn't slow down when your having fun or speed up when your hurting but moves at a certain pace, that's just about right.

Who actually reads this blog??

2009-08-18T21:30:00.002+08:00

This is a post to let the lovely, supportive people reading this blog that I'm still alive, well and kicking. I wonder who reads this pitiful blog of mine anyway. If you did, you could do me a tiny favour by leaving a tag to let me know I'm doing "some good" in someone's life. Or wasting your precious time more like it.
So sunday was the Altar Servers Lunch for their invest. Maybe one day it'll be the gift bearers turn eh? Hope hard.
After that we had GB comm Meeting. Then came back went for dinner. Slept.
OH! My Phone's recovered. See, it totally like's me Gabriel:P. Turns out I forgot the Pin number like the absent minded fool I am. But the wonderful people at singtel sorted it all out.
Massed today. Sang at the choir, first time in ages? Gabriel convinced me. He was lucky he caught me in a blur mood. Haha(:
Homily was meaningful. Didn't manage to concentrate fully. Was distracted by the song picks and all. But Fr. Bosco was talking about Letting go of unhealthy relationships. And leaving it to God. Guess its what I have to do then, Let go.

I was sitting on my doorstep, I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand, But I knew I had to do it, And he wouldn't understand, So hard to see myself without him, I felt a piece of my heart break, But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,I guess I'm gonna have to cry,And let go of some things I've loved,To get to the other side,I guess it's gonna break me down,Like falling when you try to fly,It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
Time heals,The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now...

bablahh.

2009-08-16T18:06:00.002+08:00

Lost. I lift it up.
I lift up the GB camp. I lift up the stress, the worries, the fear, the pain, everything.

Lost in your eyes.

2009-08-06T20:37:00.000+08:00

Got sick of standing in the sidelines while my classmates do PE, cause if you don’t know, I’m on long term MC. Especially now when their doing the netball component. Its excruciatingly painful to watch my classmates fool around with the netball while I sit down, like some lethargic person. So, today I coped a netball halfway through the PE period and starting shooting hoops. Managed to sink 15 hoops before the period ended. Ms wang wouldn’t let me do the what she describes as stringent netball chest pass exercises yet): She said next week. But there’s no PE thanks to lovely common tests. Ah well.
In art class Vanessa and Beatrix were talking about the various bunks in our school, and fully on grossing me out. I must say its still disturbing that to know that one of the girls which I’ve knowed since primary school days has turned to the other side. Yea. Its pretty sad though. The things she does for “love”. Pretty sick too. But who am I to judge? She is still a child of God after all.

Today I open upped abit more(: yea. Its great. I was once told to know as many people as I can, while I’m young. So yes, I want to know you too(: Haha.

Lost in your eyes.

Its alright, its okay.

2009-08-04T21:32:00.001+08:00

Starting to feel the pressure of the Common tests which are next week. Shall be studying my brains of for the next couple of days. Won’t be able to make it for mass tomorrow): As I’m having math tuition. Math’s been great. Love polygons and angles. Their just real interesting, algebra is challenging. But nothing beats the satisfaction of solving a tedious algebra question. Won’t be blogging or facebooking for some time, due to the fact that exams are next week. So you won’t hear from me till this weekend(: or the next.
Reminder to self: Study Chinese. Its time to face my worst nightmares.

Today, The cut closed. Abit.

Peeks(:

2009-08-02T21:46:00.006+08:00

I used love drunk, but now I'm hung over.

2009-08-02T21:17:00.003+08:00

Happieness can be felt in moments of pain too, that was thankfully demonstrated today.
Thanks to a bunch of really great, really nice people in church and the 2008 P6 faithians of OLGC.
Canteen was a blast. I mean it.
Woke up around six. Nicole woke up too, (;
Met at the canteen decked in our white shirts at around 645.
Helped set up and stuff. My shift was kinda at 1045 but I just had to come earlier and help out(:
Helped Nicole with the bread counter set up thing. The poster was really cool.
then barbara and Natalie Kwan arrived so I chatted with them for abit.
Rebekah came to do her shift which was for 7am mass. But she was sent home, cause her house was the nearest to fetch kitchen tongs and can opener. So she ask me to "pei" her since the 7am crowd hadn't finish mass yet. So I did. Had a nice chat on the way(: She was saying what : kitchen caterer." haha:] We've both got something in common now mann.:x hehe(:
Then it was pretty much rush hour till the end.
Helped out at canteen counter and bread counter and abit of tire polishing.
Couldn't do logistics cause I had to go for the youth meeting thingy.
Which Nicole so kindly signed up and came with me.
Oh I forgot, went to the park for abit with the hearted. Started taking pictures like the posers we are man. I'll upload the best ones here, so you lucky people reading this blog get to see them. The ones on facebook ain't that pretty(:
Youth session was great. 5th grader quiz was really cute. Though I must admit I was pretty shocked at the behaviour of some people we were sitting near to. But ah well. Session was cool. Yupp.

Wonderful people to thank for canteen.
Those who supported us, of course.
Bekah for selling mee siam next to me.
Joshua, golden hands boy, your not useless. Your just so funny man. Not in my cath class though):
Belinda, for helping around. You rock(:
Sheri, porridge selling was really fun eh. Especially when you me and bec started mixing condiments inside. Its okay, I don't know how to da pow also. haha
Giselle, For you cheery presence.
Nicole, for all the great little chats we've had between rush hours. and for acompanying me to OLGC and the youth session.
Celine, haha. See, bread is so much funner then tyre polishing.
Sean and Tim, for the "free milo". haha(:
Natalie, you so cute to watch man.
CLAIRE CHENG, there's nothing to say man. I've siad it ALL. your th best.
Jayne, Annabel, You guys have changed so much in 6months. Its amazing. Loves.

So after session, me and Nicole or Nicole and I headed to OLGC where they were holding some kind of car boot cum funfair national day thingy. Which was really fun. Met up with lots of my old classmates. Annabel, Denise, Sherlyn, CLAIRE and Jayne. Place was really interesting, or the stuff there was. I got red shades. So Claire has shades, and Nicky got the same ones except her's is purple. After that Claire and I walked up the hill back to the church bus stop and I actually took the 317 bus even though my lane was like two lanes away from the bus stop. Guess that what happens when you don't see your bestest friend for some time eh?

Reminder. Got to study man. Exams next week.
And I should stop using "man" its really annoying. Even for me.

Today I forgot, thanks you all.
But though out it all, I still look out, for you.

2009-08-01T16:40:00.002+08:00

My classmate and I had this really hilarious converstion in class the other day. During lit. I shall post it in tomorow's post. So if you can be bothered, read my blog tomorow(:
Just got back from the last session of the week of guided prayer. was a pretty good experiance. Made me realise how busy I am in this life, that sometimes I just haven't got the time for God. Made me ponder on why that is so. Made me realise that life has so many distractions, its amazing how we can fit God into all this mess.

I should have stopped myself. I should've caught myself. I should have never thought/

2009-07-30T16:59:00.002+08:00

Did I mention that on monday and tuesday, there were like only 19 and 17 pupils in class? Yea, hence. My class has sorta been hit with the quarantine bit so today we were "evicted" from our ct venue (well, sorta.) and banished to the basement classrooms as a precationary manner. Their not letting on whether or not someone has gotten the flu though, prolly to keep the peace and to avoid a state of panic in my somewhat "peaceful" class. Yea, we totally get an earlier recess so we don't mingle with the rest of the school though, so thats been great.

It's not a feeling like when you touch a flame
No, it's not like when someone calls you a bad name
It's not like the hurt when you slip and fall down
No, it's not like anyof these, what I've found is

Your love hurts like a paper cut, so sweet
never even feel the slice; you're so deep
It seems so hard as, but only at first
Cause like a paper cut the pain grows worse.

................................And if you only knew, man. If you only knew. How much it hurts. Would you care? Does it matter? I doubt.

You got me standin' at the bottom of this mountain that we've made
And the ground is shakin' from all of our mistakes
But there's no one, but then the ice is in our way
It's a matter of time, We can rewind

If only you knew, Why my heart is through for you
I'm trying to break through, Don't you think it's worth the chance?
Let's lead the past, Is that too much to ask?And where do we stand?
Can we pull through this avalanche?
Can we pull through this avalanche?

Pull through this together.

As I cry, these tears wash away ,my wounds, my bruises. Leaving scars.

2009-07-29T21:29:00.002+08:00

If I cry tonight, I won't stop.
If I miss you in my dreams, I know it'll be alright. Eventually.
Cause there's reality in dreams.
It'll be alright.
I'll be alright even though I'm not okay.
Guide me, Lord. Rub away the deepest of scars.

If I say "jump" you say "how high?"

2009-07-29T20:09:00.005+08:00

I got tagged in Celine's photo on facebook.
As a drunk??!!!
So here's the comment thread. Pretty funny to see the conversation me and my fellow friends have on facebook. Sigh. The things the kids do these days. Makes life a whole lot more interesting then before eh? See the photo at Celine's profile. Or you can add me then find it on mine. Oh, and what made matters worst was that we were facebooking while we were "suppposedly" elearning. heh.

The comment thread.

Jaime Chng
I'm a drunk?
11 minutes ago · Delete

Celine Sim
YEP :)
11 minutes ago

Jaime Chng
LOL"(: Really meh.
10 minutes ago · Delete
Celine Sim
YEPp sheri is The so in love lols >< haha
8 minutes ago

Jaime Chng
haha, true. This is sinful. we are supposed to be "doing our work"
6 minutes ago · Delete

Celine Sim
vomitss i hate lit !!! nows lit ARGH!!
5 minutes ago

Jaime Chng
haha. I got Chinese after lit. sad eh. thank god there's facebook.
4 minutes ago · Delete

Celine Sim
lols agreed kay bb :) go do hw le ...
3 minutes ago

Jaime Chng
okay then(:
2 minutes ago · Delete

Sherilyn Koh
AND WHYYY
2 minutes ago

Cassandra Louise Pereira
lols, since when u so innocent?
2 minutes ago

Jaime Chng
cause your boy crazy sheri. So there. FACE IT(:
Haha.
we should be" ïn school" or elearning for that matter. REcess IS OVER people.
about a minute ago · Delete

Celine Sim
since the day i was born!! sheri is seriously e so in love :)hehe
about a minute ago

Jaime Chng
exactly my point, cassandra. (Though I dont know you.)
about a minute ago · Delete

Natalie Ann
EH?!i'm a devil child. what the hell.hahah
34 seconds ago

Celine Sim
wtf jaime chng !! u so mean.
25 seconds ago

Cassandra Louise Pereira
lols
10 seconds ago

Jaime Chng
I'm zhaoing here to go to the doctors. you sad people can continue doing whatever it is your doing. Like elearning. FOR INSTANCe.
7 seconds ago · Delete

Celine Sim
lalalalalala :) someone else tagged that lalalalala not me :) haha
7 hours ago

Celine Sim
whatever jaime !!! > D byebye :)
7 hours ago

Natalie Ann
aiyo.i'm going to untag myself.i'm a very nice person okay.LOL.
7 hours ago

Celine Sim
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7 hours ago

Sherilyn Koh
wtf im NOT Jaime. Th one who is boy crazy is.. Kyra -.- WOOHOO. And yes im in love. but im not crazy. AND. anger is getting th better of me. CIAO, before I spoil facebook.
6 hours ago

Celine Sim
><
3 hours ago

Rachel Mingli
Who say's im the dreamer?!??!! And fyi CELINEEEEE your not INNOCENTTTTT!!!! (:
3 hours ago

Celine Sim
i AM !! :)
2 hours ago

Celine Sim
actually you're the sick bird
2 hours ago

Jaime Chng
Sheri, sheri darling. your not as boy crazy as kyra of course. Your just fulll of love(: Correction: SHERI IS FULL OF LOVE. and that's why we love you, of course. so don;t stay angry for too long dear, it doesn't suit you(:
9 minutes ago · Delete

Sherilyn Koh
HAHAHAHA :D I shant over SOME people :D AHAHAHAA
7 minutes ago

Corinne Amelia Sim
i love to eat (: but not A LOT what! >:[ but my avatar is so cute!
about an hour ago

Joshua Tan
wth la im not a crackhead
about an hour ago

Jaime Chng
Oh yes you are, joshua.
Haha(:
A teeny weeny bit.
2 seconds ago · Delete

And counting of course...I love these wonderful people.
Now I'm going to finish the work I was supposed to complete this morning. Buh-bye.

2009-07-29T09:36:00.002+08:00

I hate you. No wait, I don''t hate you. I hate what your doing to me. I hate how you know what your doing to me and yet your doing it. I hate it man. I wish everything could just stop for one split second. I hate it, yet it seems so alright.

Hmmm. I wonder when the tears that haunt me at night are gonna stop coming cause really. Its not like its my life ambition for my eyes to constantly remain red and puffy all the time. heh.

Wish the Elearning platform would hurry up and let me log in.

Mysterious much.

2009-07-25T16:21:00.001+08:00

Yes, I know. I posted already. So Im posting again. Big deal man.
Just thought I'd post something God wants me to know, according to facebook, anyways.

On this day of your life, Jaime, we believe God wants you to know...
... that it is time to finally forgive yourself.

You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has to come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about it.

I don't want you if you don't want me.

2009-07-25T15:57:00.003+08:00

I'm learning to fall.

hmmm....Today was really. boring? then again what else could I possibly be expecting from this story book called my life? You totally know whats going to be on the next page.
tuition was cool. Seeing there's no other word to describe tuition. but really, what's the point of school when everybody's at tuition and extra classes almost every second. might as well cancel school all together. ya la la la. here's the point where I stare at the screen asking myself what in the world i'm going to type next.
hmmm...
And now I realise thats the second time I've gone "hmmmm".
Oh, suppose to have gone for the youth gathering to prepare for the youth outreach which i'm involved in tomorrow. So i've got to wake up super early man. Which doesn't really make any difference cause thats what i've been doing like for every single morning. So anyway, youth outreach. Couldn't make it. Sorry, Vic(: So after a couple of meetings, the days finally going to be here tomorrow. Its amazing to see how hard some of the youths and the comm has been working for tomorrow and the Sundays to come and from what I've been seeing and saw, its going to be a blast. Yay for community(:. Can't wait to outreach tomorrow.
So here is where i end this nonsensical post. Cheerios.

I'm not weak, just human.

2009-07-23T12:07:00.002+08:00

I woke up this morning, cold sweat sticking to my back as I remember.
I remember, through my defenseless sleep, when my mind roams freely across the boundaries that I put up to keep out the memories and the feelings.
And as I wipe away the tears that stream silently down.
I wonder when I would stop remembering.

Throat's killing me. Grrr. It even hurts to cough.

Just need this pain to end right now. (:

All in a days work.

2009-07-22T10:53:00.002+08:00

Feeling drugged.

With a temperature of 39.0 and having to pop pills almost every three hours, its a wonder why.
Doing my science enviormental project.
see, even when I'm sick I totally have to work still.

Serratiopeptidase 5MG take 2 tablet(s) 3 times a day
Loratadine 5MG Pseudoephedrine 120MG take 1 tablet(s) 2 times a day.
Dextromethomethorphan Gualacolate Citrate Take 10ml(s) spoonfuls 3 times a day.

On top of that, heavy doses of panadol throughout the day.
I hate cough medicine man. whoever invented the taste of it must be extremely sadistic.

2009-07-18T13:45:00.000+08:00

My zombiefied, monotonous life.
Going for math tuition later.

2009-07-17T15:31:00.002+08:00

Hmmm...
School was short, and sweet.
CD was good though, Beatrix was talking to me about some stuff quite abit.
Haha
Erm...Oh yes, I'm so a compass abuser ain't I?
I'm refering to the mathematical set one, btw.
Totally abused it today during math.
Angles are fun.
I should stop.\
Matthew is down with fever. He didn't have to go to school today. Lucky thing.
Well, I guess my lifes pretty routine based these days. Getting pretty predictable, I must say.
Meeting again today at 8.
And oh, oh, Harry Potter came out yesterday. I so have to watch it before I start doing something crazy. haha. So now I've been re-reading my well thumbed through Harry Potter Series. Started on Tuesday and so far I'm done with Half-Blood Prince and finishing off Deathly Hallows. Hoping to be done with the fifth by tomorow so I'll be well prepared when I catched the show.
Gosh, I must sound like some Harry Potter Geek right now. So subject change please.

Cheryl's the most talented graffiti-ist I've ever seen in the class of 2009 faith.
Tution day's tomorow, so you won't be hearing much from me.

And its the 17th.

Ain’t kidding nobody but me.

2009-07-15T22:16:00.001+08:00

Why do they call it a heart break? Seems like every single part of me is broken.

They say the pain seizes, they say with each day it goes away. They say you miss less and less. They say the tears dry. Well those, remain in the books. In my life, the pain grows worst. Each day. I cried myself to sleep last night. And I wonder why. The tears have dried by now. The tears are bound to end one day. But the internal tears still flow. And let me tell you, when they start, they never stop. Almost everything, gives you that empty, low hollow feeling in your stomach, makes your heart sink. Lost for words now. Cause no words will ever match this. This feeling, that feeling that was shared and the feelings that will be felt.

Just came back from 50th anniversary youth comm meet. My head’s swollen and throbbing now. I don’t feel exactly at the pink of health right now, both ways.

Lord, guide me. Guide we. Heal the world, Lord and start with us.

2009-07-14T16:35:00.002+08:00

School was fun. Yeah, your probably thinking how the word "school"and "fun"go together. heh.
D&T was pretty cool, Me and cheryl rolled up the brown sticky paper used to protect the plastic into a fist sized ball and started playing volley ball cum hand ball. This is where you go "diao".
LISS was great.
I love you, sheri.
Claire Cheng, your loved. Whatever it is, know you'll be alright(:

I still think I have swine flu.

2009-07-11T17:37:00.001+08:00

What a fruitful day, chinese in the morning and math in the afternoon.
Prolly be homeworking later.
I look forward to laughing at matthew.

I think I have swine flu.

2009-07-11T13:37:00.003+08:00

"Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?" -Jordan Sparks.

I fight my battles on my knees.
When the road's rough, and when I lose the ability to control my problems, when it all falls apart, I lift my pain up above to you as a sacrifice.
I know your here. I know your with me now. I know.
Even though I can't feel you or I can't here your voice, I trust that your with me. I trust that you will tell me what to do, so I wait here patiently. Knowing that you will hear me and come to me, when the times right, through your own special way. Knowing that your love for me alone is enough to sustain me for the rest of eternity.
I know you hear my cries, I know you hear my pleas. I know you cry with me. I know you know Lord. I trust in you.
"Only the future will tell how it'll end." But there is No end. There's the future. Only God will tell. Only God has the answers. I'll wait for instuctions.

Lets think it through. Lets let it settle down. Lets trust God. The Lets talk.

2009-07-09T17:04:00.001+08:00

I trust in the Lord My God.
And I trust He'll let you see when the times right.
Just lift up everything. And trust completely.

2009-07-09T16:47:00.000+08:00

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you
Died for you

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counting all the scars you made
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

2009-07-06T11:53:00.000+08:00

God, let me find you.

2009-07-06T11:50:00.001+08:00

No regrets.
Thank you, Victoria for staying up with me last night(:

2009-07-06T11:44:00.001+08:00

Maybe I was wrong.

2009-07-06T11:20:00.000+08:00

Confused.

You do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted.

2009-07-06T10:02:00.001+08:00

I sit here. I think.

Just as it happen so fast, it ended fast.

but the endings not over. The endings the next day and the next. The pain won't seize but with time I pray it will.

I never saw this coming. I really never did. I never thought it would end up this way. Guess I didn't know you as well as I thought I did. All those words now they've got me thinking. And its so easy to wonder if they were all lies. But you know, I don't think want it to be true. Because I don't want you to be capable of it. I want you to have meant it. But now I really don't know. The person I knew when I first met you. Before everything. That's how I'd like to remember. I never knew. I thought it was all fine. I guess looks can be deceiving. Your tough guy iron mask. Now as I wipe the sleepy dust from my eyes. I realise I can't fool anyone. Its not easy to hate the person you love. Its not easy to look at everything. And everything serves as a reminder everything reminds you. Everything makes you cry. Distracted during the day but at night when I'm going to sleep, I remember. When I wakeup in the morning smiling, it hits me again like a ton of bricks. I can't say I won't miss you. Because that would be a lie. I can't bring myself to hate you. Because honestly, I really don't. I can't say I'll be alright. Because I can't be sure.

I know things happen for a reason. So I don't want decisions to be changed no matter how I feel.

My feelings'll have to take a rain check. For now.

2009-07-05T16:54:00.002+08:00

I want to cry.
I don't know why.
Right now as I listen to the raindrops pattern of the raindrops slowly coming to a stop, I think of everything. Every second. Everyone bit.
And I wish for a miracle.

2009-07-05T16:50:00.000+08:00

I'm not ready for this to end.

And what happens if we fall, and never get the chance to stand up straight? Ever again.

2009-07-04T18:34:00.005+08:00

Tiredness has seeped into my eyes. The first week back at school.
Finally I can type without irritation. Although my elbow has a certain stiffness to it which I hope I'll overcome soon. I hate that feeling of not being able to do much. Such as two months of lethargicness, thanks to long term mc's. Not that i'm going to follow it. heh. It only said no PE and CCA. So I shall refrain from that. Doesn't mean I can't work out by myself.
Asian Youth Games village was, hmmmm. A memorable experiance? Seeing its the first AYG in Singapore. Badges were really cool though. yuppish.

I don't know. Its hard, something thats going to be haunting me for the rest of time. time. time. Why is time always my worst enemy. I keep asking myself why. I keep wondering. Maybe it happened to fast. Maybe I didn't think. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe there's something more. There's always the maybe. Which I'll never ever know. Unless, unless.

You'll never be equivalent to who I am.

2009-06-29T17:19:00.003+08:00

1. I’m doing a pretty short post here cause I’ve got to go check out that GiftBearer Email.
2. Back to school. Hip, hip, hoooray. (Note the monotonous tone.)
3. Yesterday was fun.
4. Vicky and Mariel came over.
5. We had pizza.
6. We did some prep work.
7. We went over to Vicky’s.
8. And I LOVE YOU VICTORIA, FOR GETTING ME HOOKED ON SEAWEED.
9. Fabulous black stuff. Heh.
10. Cast coming off on Wednesday! (Note the joyful and enthusiastic expression)
11. Mariel is special.
12. I love you, my enemy. Jesus taught me how.
13. Ohhh! Its number 13.
14. Did I ever mention how much I love, 14? Well I do.
15. Very Much.
16. Secrets aplenty eh.
17. I predict school is going to be draggy.
18. I stand corrected.
19. School is going to be very, very boring.
20. Oh, I didn’t throw a farewell party for June.
21. Dang.
22. Goodbye, King of Pop.
23. You’ll live on in the music industry I’m sure.
24. H1N1.
25. Bacon Flu.
26. Why do snobs exist in this world. You disgust me.
27. Tuition tomorrow, just remember. (Panic expression.)
28. School tomorrow. So whats new.
29. So much for a short post.
30. I love you, 14.

Thankyou, I take that as a compliment.

2009-06-22T15:13:00.002+08:00

So its a Saturday and you've got nothing to do, so what better way to spend it then at a friends place, watching movies till almost midnight?
Okay, I've got to stop there. Well firstly the sentence up there so sounds like i'm quoting ffrom some disney channel ad.
Saturday's movie night was great(: We watched August Rush and a walk to remember.
August Rush was at MarielChee's place, then the second was at Vicky's place.
Spending time with those two's been really nice.
I've come to know such wonderful, wonderful people. (Not to mention pretty crazy and wacky eh Mariel?:p)
haha
Yesterday was okay.
And Happy Fathers Day to all Daddy's reading this.
Kinda a belated one but oh well.
Ms wong let me run!!!!!!
But mummy wouldn't.
So I decided not to.
Which sucks.
Cause I so wanted to run.
But oh well. Ever the optimist I shall look upon the brighter side of things:D
At least I don't ditch my "full of life" catt class where Im narrating the presentation our classes doing. heh

I'll pray for you. And her.

Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.

2009-06-20T13:38:00.003+08:00

So most of today morning was spent at coronation, being assessed by my Chinese tuition teacher on how bad my already horrible chinese actually is. After that we went to have lunch, which was quite good i must say. But not that filling....
I've just finished a medium fries and 6piece nuggets from good old macdonalds. After a bowl of laksa at lunch too.
........
........
(psst! This is where you go tsktsk.)
I swear ever since my appetite's come back, it seems to have catapulted into the bottomless pit of no return.
Oh well.
I got a call from Ms Wong regarding the Asian Youth Games Torch relay run which Im participating in when I was out. Hopefully, I'll be able to convince Ms Wong into letting me run the relay with my cast.

Fingers crossed.

Dear Mariel,

2009-06-19T14:31:00.002+08:00

Dear Mariel,
I am dedicating this portion to you because
1) I'm bored
2) I'm very bored
3)You look like your brother
4)You really really look like your brother
Alright anyway I'm gonna find something productive to do now. (Besides Homework.)

Love,

You should have tried harder.

2009-06-19T13:31:00.005+08:00

my dreams of having my previous cast removed were crushed. And I was only to find that due to a slight fracture at the back of my elbow, my entire left arm would have to remain in an even harder, almost solid, florescent orange cast for the next two weeks. Oh the things I endure for the sake of my arm. I sadly wouldn't be able to partake in the Asian Youth Games Olympic relay thingy. Ah well, but I'm really grateful, and should be. That it wasn't a broken bone. Otherwise, my arm would be in a cast for months! The idea of that already has me feeling faint.
I went to watch the Hannah Montana movie yesterday morning. The songs were really nice and meaningful, especially Butterfly fly away* but sadly the movie just seemed like another episode of the series on Disney Channel. Only a longer version.
So thats most of it, june holidays are pretty boring.
Oh. I do hope and pray that I'm not kept up by itches in my stupid cast the way I was last night. heh

*You tucked me in, turned out the light
Kept me safe and sound at night
Little girls depend on things like that

Brushed my teeth and combed my hair
Had to drive me everywhere
You were always there when I looked back

You had to do it all alone
Make a living, make a home
Must have been as hard as it could be

And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scared things wouldn't turn out right
You would hold my hand and sing to me

Caterpillar in the tree
How you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream

Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry, hold on tight
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly fly away

Butterfly fly away, butterfly fly away
Flap your wings now you can't stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true

If today was your last day.

2009-06-13T15:46:00.002+08:00

Thank God for on screen keyboards. Seeing I no longer have the use of my lefthand due to the fact that I got flung off my bike while cycling around ubin on thursday with shawn, matt, clare, joel, mel and jutin. Apart from the unfortunate incident where I had to go to A&E and the trip came to an abrupt stop, I must say the trip was really enjoyable.
Claire Cheng came over today. I shall update the photoswhen I have full use of both arms.
heading to vtctoria's place now. Later.
oh sports was alright, we got second overall.
I love team kunalan and ClaireC(;

http://www.myspace.com/heymonday

2009-06-03T15:53:00.003+08:00

Normally, if you see a youtube video, you'll prolly just take a rain check on it. But really, this song is so worth your three minutes or so. Really great stuff.

You were talking to her
But messing with me
It's finally clear
You're blurring the lines
Are you disturbed?
Oh, now you care
Why do you race through my red lights?

Can't understand?
I'll slow it down for you

Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
Baby tell me how
How you love me now
Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
I hate when you say
How you love me now

Save
Save it for her
I'm not gonna hear
Your reasons and "please-just-take-me-backs"
We never were right
Don't waste your breath
You crashed and you're on your own tonight

Lights out
I found out
My falling star
Goodbye
The sun rises here
There's no more you and I

How can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
Baby tell me how
How you love me now
Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
I hate when you say
How you love me now
How you love me now
How you love me now

Addicted to Hey Monday. I so want the CD! Couldn't find it just now. RAWR!

2009-06-03T13:57:00.001+08:00

Something to add on: right now, I could just about kill for a "Hey Monday"CD. RAWAR. haha(:

Oh sweetheart put the botttle down.

2009-06-03T13:27:00.002+08:00

hello world.
So this morning, I spent 21/4 x 60minutes going through my mathematics SA paper with my math tuition teacher.
Apparently all my mistakes are due to carelessness like for example being too "kanjiong" in doing the sum and not reading properly, changing the +sign to a -sign etc. So its pretty, as my tuition teacher puts it, wasted.
ah well
No slacking during the 1hour I normally have after completing the paper next time then.
meeting ClaireCheng Dearest later. it'll be really good to catchup with the going ons in her life and just have some plain old nice time with the bestest girl pal in the whole entire world.

So something popped up that gave me a flashback into the past, and have something to ponder about: Truth.
Most of the time, we hide the truth from the people we love. Why? I suppose its because we want to avoid seeing the hurt and disappointment in the eyes of the ones we love. But put it this way, wouldn't it hurt more if the person finds out by his or herself what you've been keeping from him or her? it just adds betrayal to the list. So really, even though what you may be hiding is hurtful, lets face it, the truth hurts. So I can safely say i admire these people who'r straight forward, no matter how much it hurts, its better to face it there and than rather than let that little "secret"drag the relationship down. I'm not perfect, come on no one is. So once in a while a little white lie slips in, just to cover up the truth from a loved one. I've been in these kinda tough situations before. Another thing it takes: courage. Seriously, it takes alot of courage to say the hurtful truth, courage to hurt then ones you love with your words. It also takes courage to ask for forgiveness, guidance and also for a second chance.

Your smiles cuteR

2009-06-01T20:51:00.002+08:00

Status: Munching on Mcwings.
So I wonder how I can possibly eat mcwings after chilied yellow noodles topped with fishballs, minced meat and fish cake at dinner. All I got to say is Old Ronald Mcdonald better be grateful from which ever part of fast food heaven he is right now. Seeing I've been patronizing his pride and joy quite abit these days. Especially when I get hit with a vanilla ice cream cone craving.
Talk about carbo-loading.
Now amidst all the chocolate rushes that've been occupying my seemingly expandable stomach, I seem to be carbo loading alot more these days.
I suppose one could say its prolly due to how ravenous one can be after sporting all day in the hot sun but, oh well.
Yesterday's one and a half packets worth of instant noodles was thoroughly enjoyed though I must say.
I shall lose all this to running rounds in the sweaty gym. Sadly.
These three words are for someone who is dearly loved; GO AND EAT! And I love you lots(:

I noticed I've been talking alot about food ever since I recovered from that fever bug I caught. Talk about appetite return. Looks like mines returned, and tripled itself.
So in this final attempt to salvage my blog post from becoming some food lovers kinda thingy, I shall talk about the weather.
Hot, hot, hot, occasional random rainfall, hot, hot, hot.
Lets hope I don't resemble a crab after outdoor training.
Nah.
I was just kidding, who wants to talk weather?
Go watch the news. On channel five. Weather report.
So forget about that sideline, lets talk Vball.
Training's heating up abit.
By saying heating up, I don't mean it in the sick, matthew ch'ng way, but I mean it in the trainings starting to get pretty intense, serious and "eyes on the prize only"kinda way, only in this case, eyes on the volleyball. So its either you sink or swim kinda feel I think.
Leg, muscle, arm, back and neck cramps; i shall openly welcome you when I wake up tomorrow.

Here's an exert from yesterdays journaling. For the record, yesterday was sun, sand and capBall with my secone sfx chohord. And Clare's goodbye at tavis stop park. So here we go.
31st May, 2009

Today, among the sun, waves, sand beneath my toes and the sound of the wind rustling the trees ahead, I finally get to let go and be the thirteen year old instead of the thirteen going on thirty state of mind I've been having for the most of these thirten years.
Today, among all the wonderful people who've made it possible, I feel like a little girl, running through the warm sun, picking up shells with her very best friends, with simply no worry at all.
Today, it seems like all the worries that send creases in my forehead and a worried look on my face, thoughts, querys and everything in the stressed filled world that I exist in has disappeared into the the calming waves of the ocean.
Today, as I picked shells with my friends, played captain's ball with my teammates, teased those two guys who followed us home, played wacko and "duck, duck goose"as we sat in a circle on the grass, I can say that I've really had fun...with my peers. Fun I've never enjoyed with my peers in the school term and since the awesome, awesome, sec one camp.
So today, I really would like to thank everyone that made it possible, All the 1elijah teens and the catechists. Natalie, Nicky and Nicole. You guys are the best! Love you guys so much(: heh

Today, I miss you a little more than the last.

2009-05-30T15:06:00.005+08:00

Chocolate coated frosting on walnut brownies.
I've died and gone to chocolate heaven.
Chocolate cravings have reached their maximum.

I have my ways of dealing with withdrawal symptoms^^

I keep telling myself not to give up.
But its hard, yknow.
Sometimes, I long for that black hole to just surface and swallow me up, taking me away from awkward situations. But in the end i end up facing the next day and the next.
Then again, I'm sick of moaning around and indulging myself in self pity, when I could be out doing so much more. So its a constant battle within myself.
Grr.
This is confusing.
I have to really attempt to stop this random/sudden ponderings that enter into my head.
Someone, give me a reality check, please.

On random note: Hey Monday, is really great of a band. For paramore sound alikers. heh.

2009-05-29T16:16:00.002+08:00

So being the nolifer I am, I went to visit mariel chee /mehmeh's lj.
And I have to say I so totally agree with her. Facebook should be made illegal.
Now goodbye. (Enough retardedness.)
Im going to soak my head, I suggest you wonderful people do the same.

Vanilla Ice cream cones. Lovely,.

2009-05-29T15:45:00.002+08:00

So whats the first thing you do when you've recovered from a pain-in-the-neck sore throat that lasted for a week and more?
Two packets of McDonald's Fries and Vanilla Ice cream. Lots and lots of ice cream, I've got a craving.
What?! So I can't help it if I suffer from really bad fast/fried/fattening food withdrawal symptoms can I?
I wouldn't be surprised if I get another sore throat sooner or later. heh.
So I guess I better stock up on the fried stuff cause, hey you never know when one of these hurtsevenwhenyoudrinkwater sore throat's gonna hit you.
It seems like I've kindly (or not) passed my germs and bacteria to mummy and matthew. So I've been running around most of the morning (sorta) for them, seeing I was the only "normal and fit" one in the house until daddy came back.
PTM(Parent Teacher Meeting) was alright. Pretty fast come to think of it. After all there isn't much to talk about random humans like me. Got my report book (That ugly blue book with the school logo where they write your marks in.) and my test scripts back and that was about it.
Volleyball; man, talk about getting back into shape let alone volleyball shape. So its been like a month or so, and considering the fact I pon four trainings sadly, due to the fever I came down with the past two weeks. So yea, I happily welcome the body aches and muscle cramps I got out of bed with this morning. Punishments for severely unfit beings. haha

I suffer from other withdrawal symptoms too, yknow.

I can't do it

2009-05-22T17:41:00.001+08:00

I can almost see it,
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying "You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

Thanks for coming over today Claire Dearest((:

A random post.

2009-05-17T14:59:00.002+08:00

Boredom has gripped the nation.
So after a short power nap or what you could call a power nap. I'm stuck hear, lamenting in front of the computer, again. That I have absolutely nothing to do.
Speaking of which, I have been really inactive for the past couple of weeks, partly due to the exams which resulted in training being cancelled for a month, and also due to the fact that I've been pretty much of a lazy pig.
I'm feeling pretty lazy currently, wondering if I should join Vicky for a run in the park later. But we'll see how it goes.
My foot hurts): Inactivity causes brittle bones and strained foots to weird humans like me. Rawr.

2009-05-16T13:48:00.002+08:00

Ah. This is the point where you go. "Finally she's updating."And about time too, I should think. So the past, lets say around three weeks when I sort of retreated to my small study hole to prepare for the SA's and sort of disappeared off the face of the WorldWideWeb. -Yes, I never thought the days would come when I say these very, very, very sad words. My Facebook is DEAD!!!. Thank God, its been noticed. Though. So now further action can be taken.
Here's where I say, "So what should I update about?" Apparently, a lot.
Ermmmm.
The SA's were alright. They weren't exactly a breeze, then again they weren't exactly a walk through the wilderness either. So here's when I pen down all the thank you's to the ones that helped me through the First (I quote the mao), Swiney-Assessment period of this year. So A big thank you to these people. [Who know who they are(:]
The past week's been pretty eventful, with Mother's Day and My Little Sisters Birthday. So hopefully, I've been a good Daughter and Sister on both days.

Mummy-Thanks for...Everything? I know I'm not exactly the best child in the world, but yet you've never given up on me. Thanks for all the little bits of advice you've been giving me throughout my life. Thanks for sending me to school every morning so I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to take the bus and can catchup on my most needed sleep.

Naomi- Hey My most favourite sister in the world, actually my only sister in the world. Unless Matthew's been hiding the fact that he's actually a girl all this while. But lets not go there. A big Happy Birthday to you. Its amazing how I actually watched you grow from that tiny bundle of warm, which I was careful not to drop, into the big girl you are now. Starting primary one in the place where I had the best years of my school life at! It really warms my heart to see you wearing the OLGC uniform I had to give up not to long ago. So the OLGC spirit in this household hasn't been totally lost at all eh? Thanks for your little cards and drawings that pop up randomly, you learn from the best random person around heh, and for cheering me up hearing all the funny antics you get up to throughout the day.

Hmmm.
So that's about all I suppose for the past week.
Let me bore you away with how the papers went.
My English Papers and Literature was pretty manageable, managed to write quite a bit for lit. Just hopefully it was a bit of sense and the examiner marking can see what I'm trying to get at.
Chinese was surprisingly Do-able. It wasn't another one of those times where you stare blankly at the paper, trying to make out the gibberish, that's chinese, staring coldly at you. The Passages where actually comprehend-able, for a change, instead of the usual nonsensical crap I cannot make anything out of.
I crapped my way through he history paper. Mostly. Go figure.
Geography was alright. Forgot the labeling of a volcano so some marks are bound to be deducted from there. Unless the marker's blind. Or EXTREMELY, and I mean extremely kind.
General Science was Generally alright. Physic's paper was a pain. but I pulled through it and survived.
I'm pretty confident about Math, worst fears aside, there wasn't much algebra in this paper. Thank God.

So that's my exams for you. Now more about myself.
I've never felt so happy and free in my life before. [besides after PSLE last year]
Right now I feel like I can do anything thats humanly possible. And its all thanks to wonderful people around me. haha. hmmmm. I'm bored! RAWR. Yes, I always seem to find a million and one things to do when I'm supposed to be studying and after that I find myself staring at my four bedroom walls. Now ain't that a pity? haha(:

And I love you as always.

2009-04-18T16:27:00.002+08:00

I MISS YOU CLAIRE CHENGXL!!!
Most of all, I miss you when I'm at my best.
When I'm at my worst,
When I need someone to talk to.
When someone throws me down.
When I'm down and broken.
When confussness fills me up.
I MISS YOU.
So very very much.

2009-04-18T16:22:00.002+08:00

Me is currently posting at Claire Ong's place. Her house blessing just finished not too long ago and me is feeling extremely stoned here. RAWR. Catechism tomorow, 1Elijahians(:

I need a break, get away from here. Slow it down, cause I'm tripping over my own two feet. I need to stop and look back, retrace the footsteps, see what we did wrongly. And how we can improve it. I'm sorry. This isn't about you, its about me. The selfish being that I am.

Thanks for the past years.

2009-04-17T16:53:00.020+08:00

Claire and I, two years ago on the 29th of November 2007. (Childrens day Celebration.)

And those were the good times, and bad times. We saw each other though thick and thin. And you know we'll do it again, forever and always.......

The world hadn't seen anything yet, until they met the power, unity and closeness of our class, friends, cliques, chohord, school and the bestest friend, a girl could ever long for.

I've seen your pain
I've seen your fears
I've seen you strong
I've seen you painless
I've seen you weak & I've tried to be strong
together you and I we had our high hopes, and many worried fears
our talks when were just tired of the world
You wiped away my tears
You showed me that we are better then them.
But our lives are chancing,
we will no longer walk the halls together
no more out bursts of laughter in the middle of class
we started on a road together, but that amazing road is starting to split apart
the six years of memories I won’t forget
I'll try to keep my smile up, for God has blessed me with a best friend like you
but soon the tears are going to start pouring
Your the one that got me through my heart aches, my tears, my broken heart.
You cured me, you help me mend.
You walked with me the tough PSLE year last year.
I love you my best friend.

2009-04-17T16:40:00.002+08:00

This is something I ripped off my bestest friends of all time/eternitys blog, aka the one, the only CLAIRECHENG(:(: haha, been reading her past free posts, and I relise I'm in almost everyone of them just like she's in almost everyone of mine. This just makes me miss the past even more, OLGC forever eh, Mummy says I should move on, seeing I already said Goodbye. Well,...I've never been good/great with goodbyes, letting go, moving on. But I suppose there'll be a day when thats gotta happen, but until then, I LOVE YOU OLGCIANS SO VERY MUCH(:(L)

So here's what I ripped from her blog(:
1. Whats you favourite sport?
Lemme see, Gimme a "V" gimme an "O" Hit it with a double "L", add the "EY" Throw in the "BALL". What do we have here? V-O-L-L-E-Y-B-A-L-L!!

2. How do your friends describe you?
Hmmm....how do you guys describ me?

3. Will you get married?
It all depends.

4. Do you stay angry for long?
Nope, I can never stay angry for long no matter how hard I try too. -You should ask ClaireC, We can fight and burst out in laughter tenminutes later. Sigh...-

5. Any Siblings?
Sadly, Yes:p

6. Any best friends?
Someone named CLAIRE CHENG!(: haha, I have lots of bestfriends, all around. Their really special people(:

7. Do you think you will go far in life?
I would like to think so.

8. Do you have a crush?
Crushes, crush you. So nope, not for me.

9. What's you personality like?
Hmm...I love sports! The sun is an awesome friend of mine. And yes, I'm a real childish person, I like to have FUN! Haha

10. How's your life going on?
My life? Its my life. Thankyou very much:D

"I was blind, such a fool, Thinking we were unbreakable."

2009-04-12T16:37:00.004+08:00

Unbeautiful-Lesley Roy. Really nice song. Worth a listen.
Happy Easter to one and all.
Fiesta was a pretty happy occasion.
Oh, I love my catechism class alot. Its really nice to see the wall between us being broken down bit by bit.
Games were really erm...amusing? If you could say getting repeatedly hit by a tennis ball is amusing but oh well..whatever entertains the little kids eh?
Talking to you today was really nice. Yeah, thanks for all the understanding and such.
Trainings been postponed till after the exams, dunno if I should be happy about it or not.
Actions have consequences, that's all I think about this situation. And sometimes we've got to learn the hard way. So just know you've tried your very best. And there's nothing else you can do about it. Sometimes it just doesn't turn out the way you wanted it or the best way you want for the person. But you cared, and you know that. That's all that matters. heh((: These kinda things you shouldn't linger to hard on it too kay.
This is extremely random, Naomi looked so pretty today. And I'm referring to the "bigger" Naomi one, btw. Haha(:
And Claire Cheng came over today. Nice catching up. You bring out the child in me!(: haha.

It shows, all my emotions go
Out of control
Good for you bad for me
When I can hardly see
From the tears that flow
Can’t forget to breathe slow
Count from one to ten
With my eyes closed
I’m being calm and cool
But believe me you
It’s taking everything to just breathe.

2009-04-11T16:21:00.002+08:00

Right now, I'm staring at this page, wondering where to begin.
So let's start with a few "burning questions" I have stuck in my head.

Did it mean that much to you? All the times we've shared? Our friendship?
Damn, I'm slacking in my work.
Somethings are really better of unknown you know.
You know if I had my way, none of this would be happening, We'll still be talking like old friends every Sunday in the canteen.
What did I ever do To you?
Tell me why.
Why are you acting like I don't exist? Why are you acting like I'm not here.
You know it hurts.
Its hurting me, so please stop it.
Can we just sit down and talk. Or at least tell me what's going on?
Chinese is just here to torture little kids.
Holy week was really awesome.
I still think your the cutest:p
HAHA
I should be the one to give in.
So I shall.
Cause we're fighting a losing battle.
Your my strengh. Thanks.
Dear Lord, I just want you to know that I know your here for me always and your watching over me, and even tthough at times it might seem that your not. I know your still there, whereever you might be. And I know that your the ONE that I can always turn to, whenever I need someone, a friend.
Ignorance isn't going to help anything you know. And its definately not a bliss.
Maybe I should just learn to have that "can't be bothered" attitude too.
But I'll still come anyway.
Oh, This ones for you(:

Gonna stay in bed today
Cause I can't stand the light
Don't know why I get so down
I won't be much fun tonight
And I can't believe you still wanna hang around me
It's not so pretty all the time
You don't mind
To you it's alright

As I am is how you take me
Never try to push
Make me different
When I talk you listen to me
As I am is how you want me
I know I've found the pieces missing
I'm looking at him

I'm not the girl you think you see
But maybe that's a lie
You almost know me better than me myself and I
Don't know a lot of things
But I know what I got
It's not so perfect everyday
I don't have to try
Cuz it all falls into place

As I am is how you want me
I know I've found the pieces missing
I'm looking at him

I'm never going to go away, standing here loving you, always.

2009-04-05T16:02:00.002+08:00

I just finished the 50note thingy I got tagged on.
And the whole thing jammed up on me. So now Im contemplating on wether or not I should go and do it again. Ah well.
This week went pretty well.
Managed to go for mass on thursday despite the hectic schedule and all. And for that I can only thank God.
yeah. Week passed pretty fast eh.
Holy week's coming up. I should take some time to spend more time with my creator. Get to know him a little bit more. And find out what purpose he wants me to achieve for him through his ministery and works.

You know what? If you want to blame anyone, blame me. Not him. Cause its not anyone's fault. So yea. I'm sick and tired of having the cold-shoulder treatment. I love you too, and I don't mean or want to hurt or anger you. So please stop it. Stop lashing out at the people I love. Cause your hurting me too. And please spare the pretence and don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. The past is the past, maybe we all could use a little help in moving on. Including me. I've been there. And I know its not as simple as it may seem. I don't want to start a war here. So I'm going to be the one to back away. And remember that I love you too. Just not in that way.

"Baby" I'm going to relieve my babyhood with you. I love you.

2009-03-28T16:19:00.000+08:00

Your always on my mind. Every second. I love you.

ClaireCheng,

2009-03-28T16:09:00.001+08:00

Random thought: I miss Claire.

2009-03-28T15:44:00.002+08:00

Mega updating to do.
Hmm..This week to be honest,
Wasn't so bad.
Oh...so much for updating.
I have nothing much to post about. heh.
Volleyball-Training was fun, New coaches training scheme's pretty enjoyable but tiring all the same. Realised I've got to brush up on my spiking skills abit. Coach said I've been placing my arms in abit of a tough position which explains why when I spike or attempt to spike, the ball hardly goes over the net. Oh well.
And its been pretty tough getting my mind focused back on the game. Seeing how during the holidays I barely practiced and how I skived off training on monday due to the fact I wasn't exactly in the fittest of health. So yea...Need to go practice.
And Pft(Physical fitness Test)'s around the corner so I need to go do some rounds. Yeah. feel like running now. So badly. Last time I ran was...yesterday. But that was only 600m. Gah...I need to run. I shall run in circles around my bedroom if I get too desperate.
Um...There's alot thats been going around this week. Time's my worst frienemy. Heh. Hm..Nothing much to add to that I guess. Alot on my mind lately. especially someone really really really cute. :x
Heading to church for awhile tonight. Gotta clear the canteen for tomorow.
Finished my homework. Not much there was to do anyway.

Oh and btw, I think your too nice.

Hello Emo, looks like I'm stuck with you till June.

2009-03-22T21:30:00.002+08:00

life just sucks. Doesn't it? Well, mine does. At any rate.
Lets run through this week of doom.
Monday-Will suck.
Tuesday-might be slightly better, but most of it'll suck.
Wednesday-Will suck.
Thursday-Will suck.
Friday-Will suck abit. But it'll be much, much better.
Saturday-Slacking day.
Sunday-Will probably be the best day this week. Then its back to square one.
This is stupid.
.......................................................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................................................

Help me get through this week. I can't do it on my own.

2009-03-22T21:20:00.001+08:00

Great. Great. Great. School is starting tomorrow. Now I really want to die.

But you know I wouldn’t. Because you make me want to hang on a little longer. mmmm.

Moody.

2009-03-22T20:00:00.002+08:00

I'm being EXTREMELY super sarcastic now. I really have no idea why. Really sorry about it. heh.
And school is starting tomorow. Lets go and cry.
RAWR. See the sarcasam? hm. Now I shall try and get back into the normal mood before I scare people off.
Oh wells. I shall say something I just found out/realised. My index number is thirteen! That explains alot doesn't it? haha(:
Update now:
Weeks been pretty enjoyable so far. [No school, see school's a bad omen. heh, jk]
Yupp. Today was really great.
Um. yeah. that all I'm going to say.
Catt was really nice. Joshua somehow's been "posted" to our class. yea.
I think we're all kindof closer in some way, think camp bonded us alot. which is I suppose one of the reason's behind camps. There's alot more sharing going on. Which is good, I suppose.
GiftBearers session today was hm, different? In a way, there was alot more writing. heh. which is good in a way, seeing the group gets more exposed to writing and other stuff. Yupp. Recruiting members, so come join, you won't regret it. Unless your a boy. heh. Ok, I should stop here before I end up sounding like some sort of promoter. But seriously, join. If you've got some sort of feeling edging you to join then just do it. mmm(:

One of the song which lyrics have struck me of some sort.

How did I get here
I turned around and there you were
Didn't think twice or rationalize
Cause somehow I knew
That there was more that just chemistry
I mean I knew you were kind of into me
But I figured it's too good to be true

I said pinch me, where's the catch this time
Can't find a single cloud in the sky
Help me before I get use to this guy

They say that good things take time
But really great things happen in a blink of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody like you were a million to one
I can not believe it

You're one in a million

All this time I was lookin' for love
Trying to make things work that wasn't good enough
Til' I thought I'm through
Said I'm done
Then stumbled into the arms of the one

You're making me laugh about the silliest stuff
Say that I'm your diamond in the rough
When I'm mad at you, you come with your velvet touch

Can't believe that I'm so lucky
I have never felt so happy
Every time I see that sparkle in your eyes

They say that good things take time
But really great things happen in a blink of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody like you were a million to one
I can not believe it
You're one in a million

All this time I was lookin' for love
Trying to make things work that wasn't good enough
Til' I thought I'm through
Said I'm done
Then stumbled into the arms of the one

I said pinch me where's the catch this time
Can't find a single cloud in the sky
Help me before I get used to this guy

They say that good things take time
But really great things happen in a blink of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody like you were a million to one
I can not believe it

They say that good things take time
But really great things happen in a blink of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody like you were a million to one
I can not believe it
You're one in a million
Yeah
You're one in a million
Yeah
You're one in a million

2009-03-22T17:42:00.001+08:00

I’m falling. And I don’t mind. So don’t stop me. Cause it’s not like the last few times. Its DIFFERENT. And I’m perfectly fine with that. Thank you very much. Haha
I shall mega update later. If I can be bothered too(: hmmm. I need to type out my essays. Or atleast get them printed. Cause I doubt my teacher can read through the messy script that it is now.

2009-03-21T21:57:00.002+08:00

Got my lazy ass to upload these photos. Now I'm "exhausted" so I shall go to sleep. Time nows:1002.
2minutes late:x haha(:

2009-03-21T21:33:00.001+08:00

"hello. Updating in process. Bye."
:p

hmmmmmm. I'm at my best.(: And I'm lazy to update. Stone me.

I fear love Like I fear heights and maybe I should just learn how to fall to fly.

2009-03-17T21:50:00.002+08:00

Tears. Confusion. I don't know how I'm supposed to think. Or say. Or do. Its hurts me to you know. I'm trying. It scares me too you know. Why. I don't know why I find it hard to take another step when I've fallen so many times. Its scary for me to take a step. Take a chance. I'm sorry. I'm wrong. It's hard. I'm afraid. I don't know why I'm scared or wary of love. Heh. Super long day. Prob crashing earlier. Going to sleep all my worries away. Unless they keep me up in bed all night.

2009-03-16T15:50:00.002+08:00

Todays slackyy so far.
Seeing that I wokeupp about an hour ago.
Today wasn't really well spent.
And I'm trying not to look at the pile of work I've got to finish.
Yet I'm constantly reminding myself not to leave it to the last minute.
Phone's kinda screwed up, so it means I won't or can't reply your messages.
Feel free to call me.
Heh
Feeling really sick and unwell. Prolly the after-camp bug.
So I shall Do this quiz I took from Naomi (Goh)'s blog.

If you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 240 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own blog, paste this as a note post. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun.

[ ] Rocky Horror Picture Show
[ ] Grease
[X] Pirates of the Caribbean
[X] Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
[ ] Boondock Saints
[ ] Fight Club
[X] Starsky and Hutch
[ ] Neverending Story
[ ] Blazing Saddles
[ ] Airplane (Flying High)
Total so far: 3

[ ] The Princess Bride
[ ] Anchorman
[ ] Napoleon Dynamite
[ ] Labyrinth
[ ] Saw
[ ] Saw II
[ ] White Noise
[ ] White Oleander
[X] Anger Management
[ ] 50 First Dates
[X] The Princess Diaries
[X] The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 6

[ ] Scream
[ ] Scream 2
[ ] Scream 3
[ ] Scary Movie
[ ] Scary Movie 2
[X] Scary Movie 3
[ ] Scary Movie 4
[ ] American Pie
[ ] American Pie 2
[ ] American Wedding
[ ] American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 7

[X] Harry Potter 1
[X] Harry Potter 2
[X] Harry Potter 3
[X] Harry Potter 4
[ ] Resident Evil 1
[ ] Resident Evil 2
[ ] The Wedding Singer
[ ] Little Black Book
[ ] The Village
[X] Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 12

[X] Finding Nemo
[ ] Finding Neverland
[ ] Signs
[ ] The Grinch
[ ] Texas Chainsaw Massacre
[ ] Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
[ ] White Chicks
[ ] Butterfly Effect
[X] 13 Going on 30
[X] I, Robot
[ ] Robots
Total so far: 15

[ ] Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
[ ] Universal Soldier
[ ] Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
[ ] Along Came Polly
[ ] Deep Impact
[ ] KingPin
[ ] Never Been Kissed
[ ] Meet The Parents
[ ] Meet the Fockers
[ ] Eight Crazy Nights
[ ] Joe Dirt
[X] KING KONG
Total so far: 16

[X] A Cinderella Story
[ ] The Terminal
[X] The Lizzie McGuire Movie
[X] Passport to Paris
[ ] Dumb & Dumber
[ ] Dumber & Dumberer
[ ] Final Destination
[ ] Final Destination 2
[ ] Final Destination 3
[ ] Halloween
[ ] The Ring
[ ] The Ring 2
[ ] Surviving X-MAS
[ ] Flubber
Total so far: 19

[ ] Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
[ ] Practical Magic
[ ] Chicago
[ ] Ghost Ship
[ ] From Hell
[ ] Hellboy
[ ] Secret Window
[ ] I Am Sam
[ ] The Whole Nine Yards
[ ] The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 19

[ ] The Day After Tomorrow
[ ] Child's Play
[ ] Seed of Chucky
[ ] Bride of Chucky
[X] Ten Things I Hate About You
[ ] Just Married
[ ] Gothika
[ ] Nightmare on Elm Street
[ ] Sixteen Candles
[ ] Remember the Titans
[ ] Coach Carter
[ ] The Grudge
[ ] The Grudge 2
[ ] The Mask
[ ] Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 20

[ ] Bad Boys
[ ] Bad Boys 2
[ ] Joy Ride
[ ] Lucky Number Slevin
[ ] Ocean's Eleven
[ ] Ocean's Twelve
[ ] Bourne Identity
[ ] Bourne Supremacy
[ ] Lone Star
[ ] Bedazzled
[ ] Predator I
[ ] Predator II
[ ] The Fog
[X] Ice Age
[X] Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
[ ] Curious George
Total so far: 22

[ ] Independence Day
[ ] Cujo
[ ] A Bronx Tale
[ ] Darkness Falls
[ ] Christine
[X] ET
[ ] Children of the Corn
[ ] My Boss's Daughter
[ ] Maid in Manhattan
[ ] War of the Worlds
[X] Rush Hour
[X] Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 25

[ ] Best Bet
[X] How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
[ ] She's All That
[ ] Calendar Girls
[ ] Sideways
[ ] Mars Attacks
[ ] Event Horizon
[X] Ever After
[ ] Wizard of Oz
[ ] Forrest Gump
[ ] Big Trouble in Little China
[X] The Terminator
[X] The Terminator 2
[X] The Terminator 3
Total so far: 30

[X] X-Men
[X] X-2
[ ] X-3
[X] Spider-Man
[X] Spider-Man 2
[ ]Spider-Man 3
[X] Sky High
[ ] Jeepers Creepers
[ ] Jeepers Creepers 2
[ ] Catch Me If You Can
[X] The Little Mermaid
[X] Freaky Friday
[ ] Reign of Fire
[ ] The Skulls
[ ] Cruel Intentions
[ ] Cruel Intentions 2
[ ] The Hot Chick
[X] Shrek
[X] Shrek 2
Total so far: 39

[ ] Swimfan
[ ] Miracle on 34th street
[ ] Old School
[ ] The Notebook
[ ] K-Pax
[ ] Krippendorf's Tribe
[ ] A Walk to Remember
[ ] Ice Castles
[ ] Boogeyman
[ ] The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 39

[ ] Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
[ ] Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
[ ] Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
[X] Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
[X] Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
[X] Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 42

[ ] Baseketball
[ ] Hostel
[ ] Waiting for Guffman
[ ] House of 1000 Corpses
[ ] Devils Rejects
[ ] Elf
[ ] Highlander
[ ] Mothman Prophecies
[ ] American History
[ ] Three
Total so Far: 42

[ ] The Jacket
[X] Kung Fu Hustle
[ ] Shaolin Soccer
[ ] Night Watch
[X] Monsters Inc.
[X] Titanic
[ ] Monty Python and the Holy Grail
[ ] Shaun Of the Dead
[ ] Willard
Total so far: 45

[ ] High Tension
[ ] Club Dread
[ ] Hulk
[ ] Dawn Of the Dead
[ ] Hook
[X] Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
[ ] 28 days later
[ ] Orgazmo
[ ] Phantasm
[ ] Waterworld
Total so far: 46

[ ] Kill Bill vol 1
[ ] Kill Bill vol 2
[ ] Mortal Kombat
[ ] Wolf Creek
[ ] Kingdom of Heaven
[ ] The Hills Have Eyes
[ ] I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
[ ] The Last House on the Left
[ ] Re-Animator
[ ] Army of Darkness
Total so far: 46

[X] Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
[ ] Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
[X] Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
[X] Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
[X] Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
[X] Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
[ ] Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
[ ] Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 51

[X] The Matrix
[X] The Matrix Reloaded
[X] The Matrix Revolutions
[ ] Animatrix
[ ] Evil Dead
[ ] Evil Dead 2
[ ] Team America: World Police
[ ] Red Dragon
[ ] Silence of the Lamb

54. Whoah this quiz has reminded me about the movies I really wanted the watch but never really got down to watching it. heh

Mix and Match

2009-03-15T15:23:00.002+08:00

Why am I so afraid to crash down and lose my heart/mind again. I don't know, can't see. Words come over me.

2009-03-15T14:46:00.002+08:00

I dunno what to think anymore.
Camp was a really nice experiance.
Sometimes you need to face reality just alittle bit to wake you up and make you realise.
Thanks Claire(mao). Yeah, I know I'm not the only one.
Camp made me reflect and think alot
About the past happenings and etc.
I want to try to strive to do something good in this time of my life.
I don't know what it might be but I believe God has a plan for me.
Thanks to all the awesome people who send me those "warm fuzzies".
Yupp. You guys rock.
1Elijah is the bestest of the best. Love you guys(:
Park games were fun.
Thanks to our Facil.s Zoa, Shawn and Aunty Serene. Thanks for the "touch times".
I feel a hell lot at peace and alot better now.
The sessions were really reflective. Pity it was too short:x heh.
Randomness from me.
I'm not sure what when wrong. At least give me a chance to explain myself.
Why do we like to hurt so much?
Tell me why?
Its so hard to fall again.
Its like I keep tripping and picking myself up only to have you throw me even further down to the ground again.

2009-03-08T15:39:00.002+08:00

One week passes quickly, doesn't it?
What happened so far;
Common tests returned.
Yupp, marks were...alright?
Scrapped through all except Chinese.
Yeah. I should use this time to study Chinese. Though you and I know that's never gonna happen.
Um...Volleyball training. My heart and concentration wasn't fully into the game. And volleyball needs total attention to be able to hit the ball. So you really need to I quote HSM, "Getcha Head in the game." Yupp. Sigh, I shall go brush up on my skills. I'm determined that this week will be better than the last.
Watched Marley and Me with Mum yesterday. Really good show. Cried my eyes out.
heh.
Went to compass. Bought some stuff from 77th street and popular.
Went out with Pandora.
Had first cheer[L] prac. in weeks. Need to get myself back into that mode too.
Went for Seven today, canteen, Catt class kinda "brightening up?" SecOne church Camp next week, something I should be able to look forward too. Hence I shall be M.I.A for the whole of next weekend. Went for lunch, Frolicked(: then headed for GB session, had reflections on the Lenten season. This Lent, I pray for patience, not to be so crappy at times and bring others down. Oh Gift Bearers doing the canteen in around 2weeks. Support yupp.

I need to save myself, from myself.

They can never have" yesterday"

2009-03-01T21:55:00.001+08:00

I suppose yesterday doesnt mean literally yesterday. More of the good times you've spent with people you love and who Love you. Thanks, if you've made a difference in my life. No matter what or how small it is. You still have made a difference. And I love and appriciate you for it.

Paper cut.

2009-03-01T21:16:00.003+08:00

Today was kinda surreal.
Don't ask me why, but it just was.
heh, mircale that I managed to wake up today after last night's dinner/bowling.
And since its a period of abstenince and sacrifice.
I shall atempt to facebook and use the comp less.
Let's see the maximum of my control.
Feeling slightly happier, calmer and there's sorta a sense of peace.
So today was spent mostly in church, at macs and home(duh).
Catt class was quite um, reflective.
Talked about how easy it is to fall into the temptation of evil. And how its harder to do what's right. Which is why we must fight the temptation. Sharing was meaningful.
Brought us to the adoration room.
Which helped abit.
Then it was lunch.
And amazingly it was extremly hot at that time at it suddenly started pouring in the evening so we couldn't have football):
Oh, I met ClaireDearest at macs today.
Really great to catch up.
But of course it couldnt last forever.
So I had to leave):
But I shall make an attempt to meet up with all the 2008 ex-olgcians once a year.
School tomorow. Going to try to get through this week with a smile on my face.
If its possible.

Breathe, slow.

2009-02-28T15:26:00.003+08:00

Been in the thinking mode alot lately.
I dont really know why but sometimes quiet time alone with myself makes you wonder and think alot about yourself and your life.
Sometimes Life passesby to fast and you need to slow down abit before getting back on track again.
Then again sometimes you can feel so moody and just lose youself.
There many different "buttons" and you gotta know which ones to press. And sometimes someone comes a long and just presses the wrong one. And you just blowup in teir face.
Let's recapp.
Hm..Valentines Day this year was pretty quiet, compared to last year at any rate.But thanks to the wonderful, lovely people who wished me, for the chocolates, hugs, heartshaped balloons and cards. You make my day.
Um..had our last house prac at the stadium.
Got chosen to run relay:D
yes. I emo-ed. Clarissa's going to straggle me tomorow.
I hate being emo.
So common test's past in a blink of an eye.
They were ok.
But I have this feeling I'm going to flunk chinese.
Ah well, no surprises there.
Ohoh, going to the club for dinner later with Matther and Mao.
Feel like swimming. SO badly.
Got into volleyball. Yeah, even though I knew I'd get it(teach told us:P) there was still some satisfaction to see the words "volleyball" printed on that piece of paper. Started training last week, twice a week (Mondays and Wednesday 3-6).
Training was Fun,Fun,Fun.
Pandora was my sortof coach for training:D:D
Yea. feel like playing volleyball now, too.
Hand hurts abit.
Now lets talk about yesterday. Mission was A.W.E.S.O.M.E.
yeah, really self-reflective and learning experiance.
Fr. Gerad(from novena church) came over to talk to us too.
Talked to us about self-acceptence and God.
mmhm.
Choir prac. was the usual. Was feeling kinda down I suppose.
yeah.
Thats about it.
Today was slacked. Wokeup at 1030.
Had lunch. Slacked. Came online. Facebooked. Blogged.
Thats my saturday for you. heh.
I'm counting that tomorow would be better.
Now I shall go do the 25 random thingy, its about time I did it. Don't you think?

2009-02-28T15:23:00.000+08:00

I'm posting now.
Just to prove to you people reading this blog that my blog is very much alive as you are, thank you very much.
I shall post/update later.
And I have ALOT to update about don't I?
heh.

Maybe I should tell you, then again maybe not.

2009-02-02T21:11:00.000+08:00

I just wanna be alone tonight, got to much to think, too much to ask, to much to do.

Maybe I knew I’ll be falling. Maybe if I hadn’t done that in the first place, none of this would happen. Maybe if I hadn’t prevented myself from loving you, I wouldn’t feel this way. And if my hearts going to feel a pang of regret and brokenness each time something like this happens, then maybe its time to move on. I’ll be trying baby. So hard. To think its been a year and this should happen to me, again. How many times do I have to face my mistake before I’m ready to let go? Everytime something hits me I just pick myself up, hide it away and carry on till’ the next incident occurs.
But that’s life, and sometimes, you don’t really have a choice.
Random thought- PSLE students study hard this year. Really went people tell you all those regret stories, they mean their stuff. Trust me, I know.
Clarissa thanks so much. Your really one of a kind. Thanks for being there and helping me today! Yay you:D

Now I shall move on to today. So yeah, school was slacked. Maths, Art, Lit, etc. Then house practice, which was hm, better then last week. Haha. Cheerleading on wensday! Yippie(: haha, um had relay, which I really enjoyed. Then CAPTAIN”S BALL!:D we won the game 6-2 I think or it was 5-2. So we kinda delayed abit cause we were having so much fun with the game. Well, our team was. :XX then came back with Clarissa and yeah^^. Went to Church, came back had dinner. Starting on my homework as soon as this post’s done.

Now Sunday, Went for seven. Wokeup at around 645++ then rushed to church. Dad sent me. Went down to macs with Clarissa&co. Naomi, Gareth, Matthew, Claire and Shuan after mass. Then it was back up to church for catt. Which was at the park. Catt was about appreciating creation. Chapter1. Genisis. Then we closed our eyes and just listened to what was around us. Really different. Since it was like still morning it was pretty quiet. Then it was sharing which was pretty open, and yup better then last week. And its all P&C so yeah. Then it was back to church where met with Jon, Claire, Matt, Joshua, Angela, David. Then Claire’s Mum picked us up and headed to Claire’s place for lunch. Which was enjoyable:D lots of laughter and jokes as usual. Oh and her dogs so Cuut-e!(: And I’m referring to CLAIRE ONG, not CLAIRE CHENG. Yupp. Too many Claire’s Grr…hah

Said the hearts all over the world tonight.

2009-01-29T20:51:00.001+08:00

Things the Dark cloud over my head caused today:
-Wokeup late, missed the bus. Ended up going to school 2minutes late, seriously it was 732 when I arrived.
-Gotta do 30mins “detention” because of that 2mins. Bah. Ah well choices have consequences and the consequence of having too much homework and sleeping late is that.
-Tore my leg muscle while sprinting, so I can’t run very well now.
-I had Chinese today.
-Couldn’t swim (hm, hm) but still had to go to the pool and slack.
-Sigh, wrote on my arm with ‘permanent’ ink and now it won’t come out completely, heh.
-Forgot my name tag)’:
-Got a hell lotta work.

Good things that occurred, if at all:
-I didn’t get booked for my name tag because Isabelle(: lent her’s to me. So I became Isabelle Leong for today.
-CHEERLEADING!:D haha
-Had Geography and history today!<3
-The ‘kind?’ teacher let me off early so I didn’t waste time slacking at the side of the pool.
-Finished most of my work in school so I got to go for mass!:D
-I got out of bed today?
-And last but not least, I have awesome friends, people who love me?

Oh, one more thing, Bea told me in Geo that studying means “student-dying” hahahaha. The crap we come up with during class. Well, at least its better then Sleeping.=P

And now I can smile through my tears [((:Thanks]

2009-01-29T00:16:00.004+08:00

I have just concluded, after much thought. That maybe life doesnt suck that much, though sometimes it can take a swing for the worst and sometimes it can take a turn for the best. Yeah, I just hope my life brightens up:D Thanks to all the wonderful people who cheered me up. Now I know, that what the heck, people care.
Now I'm going to fill my head with pleasent thoughts, and get some rest for school later. [seeing its past 12, heh]

-swimming tomorow. Haven't made an effort to move an inch. Ah well.

Two fingers left. I'm losing grip, alone.

2009-01-28T21:58:00.001+08:00

Today sucks. Life sucks. I suck, yes and I don’t care. Im tripping and falling in water I’ve spilt myself. I don’t want to be me anymore. No one cares or understands. And if I leave this world now. Would anyone know? Or care? Or bother. Got Grounded in the worst way I ever have. No phone. No outings. Just homework, and more homework. And school, and more school. Even hell would be better. And that’s just one of my small worries. Im so stupid to think everything would turn out ok. That I could handle all this crap, obviously not. Heh. Today is nothing compared to the rest of this life. And dealing with all this shit. I’m only hiding from myself all the hurts I’ve pushed aside, and you. Why would you care. Even if you knew. Yeah. I’ll just sink back into this black bottomless never ending pit and never resurface. Then everyone’ll be satisfied. Im most likely not to blog for awhile. And Im going to join volleyball, train like mad and basically have no freakin life. I don’t know who I am anymore. I doubt anyone knows, or cares the least.

You’re the remedy I’m searching hard to find
To fix the puzzle that I see inside
Painting all my dreams, the colour of your smile.
When I find you it’ll be alright.
I need to try to get to where you are,………-So Where The F are you?!

When I lose myself I think of you

2009-01-27T21:08:00.002+08:00

Im back, the joy.
So the penang CNY trip was enjoyable.
I'll start with the first day(:
So the potential 6hour journey took 15hours instead.
Thanks to major road use and traffic jams.
It took like three and a half-hour alone to enter malaysia seeing the causeway was jammed up.
Then Naomi and Matthew we're arguing about slightest issues for almost half the journey while I was trying to sleep. And I was the unfortunate one who had to sit next to Matthew. The things he dooes, you dont want to know:'(
haha.
So when we reached, we had dinner then headed to my grandparents place[Dad's side]
Before heading to our hotel.
On sunday we went to the nearby church for mass. The one me and matt used to go when we were little kids:D haha, it was quite an experiance, I must say. The church isn't airconed, its got quit a big plot of land but the building isn't that morden, the sound system isnt very good so you cant really hear much. There wasnt as many benches as in SFX and there wasn't a single "Black shoed and white cassocked" guy at the altar at all. Show's how lucky we are.
Homily was quite meaningful. The priest talked about self sacrifice. Wether we are willing not only to help those we love but those whom we hate as well. Wether we are willing to put others first, and ourselves last. Maybe I should stop worrying about my needs and start helping others instead, heh.
After mass went back to my grandparents place for lunch then went to like"shop" around. Which wasnt really shopping cause CNY what. What shops would open? But Dad bought me another Netball:D YAY! haha, then it was back to the hotel for a change then to the reunion dinner.
Yesterday was pretty much visiting and oranges and HongBao's. Trust Matthew to get a sorethroat. So he couldnt eat all the goodies and stuff:P anyway, food was awesome. So if there's anything I'll miss about this trip, it'll be the food.
Then the three days just went like that so this morning wokeup around 7ish+++ had breakfast, goodbyes and all then hit the road. Causeway wasnt jammed this time but Dad forgot to fill petrol. So there was like barely any petrol left when iit finally was filled so we were on tender hooks that the car would break down:P thank God it didnt.
And Matthew Ch'ng Han Jin was hitting me on the arm the whole way. Dunno whats his problem. Should go get some help. haha(:

Face hurts like crap. Sigh.

What kind of a relationship is this when you don't even tell me anything? Oh yeah, there wast even a relationship in the first place. I forgot. Sorry.

Grrr....Common Wealth Essay

2009-01-23T00:38:00.003+08:00

368 words. 234 more to go. Urgh.

We or I must persist, like Matthew's blog. heh,

Who took it from Claire-C who took it from.......

2009-01-22T22:57:00.003+08:00

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
1. Jaime
2. Jaime Ch'ng Mei Xin [People call me this when their angry or impatient :/]
3. James

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1. Chinese
2. Hokkien
3. ???

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. Failure in life, disaapointing the ones I treasure and love.
2. War
3. Having to sleep alone

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
1. water
2.Love
3. Technology, Facebook; Phone; comp. etc

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW
1. Shirt
2. Shorts
3. Specs

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW)
1. The Show- Lenka
2. Gonna Get caught- Demi Lovato
3. Hey stephen- Taylor Swift

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1. I watch Disney:P
2. I Love Claire[Cheng]
3. I hate and I am not what so ever addicted to facebook

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
1. Captain's Ball
2. Blog-Hopping/ Friend/Community Activities:D
3. Shopping

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
1. Go to Disneyland
2. Go watch a show,
3. I want to meet the guy that plays Emmett in TWILIGHT!

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED
1. Teacher
2. Myself
3. lawyer

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION
1. Japan
2. New Zealand
3. Rome

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Have kids
2. give my heart away:D thats so cheesy Iknow.
3. Get married

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL
1. I dress like a girl
2. I go to a girl's school
3. I have a girl's name.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY
1. I talk alot
2. I do swear here and there
3. Im can get abit rough when I play sports?

THREE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW
1. Y
2. O
3. U
If you read this, then you do it:D haha:P

Im at my happy place:D

2009-01-22T22:24:00.002+08:00

This is terrible.
One day Im so depressed and the next day I'm not.
This morning I was so moody, and now I'm over the moon.
Sigh, stupid me.
haha.
School was school.
Got lots of homework over the Chinese new year, though I'll be out of town for the whole long weekend.
English lesson was really annoying me.
Heh.
I have to just live with it. History and Geo was really fun. Esp. Geo:D really intresting stuff, geo.
Then it was the CCA fair, which was cool I suppose.Better then yesterday. haha:P
Im kinda contemplating on which CCA's to join.
There's Volleyball, Debate, IJYM and Brownies[Girl Guides].
Mum say's not to join a sports CCA this year cause its secone and that I should see if I can cope with nine subjects cause volleyball would take up plenty time.
Sigh, but I t love volleyball.
But maybe Mums right, heh. I SHOULD study hard for my Secondary school results. So I dont regret like I did for PSLE.
visiting OLGC for CNY tomorrow with Claire[Cheng] Clarissa might come too(: YAY!
haha. So I shall go think about which CCA to join to get points:D
Parents want me to join Debate, so do Clarissa and Claire.
Hm...debates fun but I still have a passion for Volley ball.
Ah well time and God will show me whats meant to be.
So after CCA fair. Me and Claire[Ong had to wait for Clarissa to be released from brownies. Ten it was 615 so we decided to cab back for mass(:
Then after mass, we were walking back then Dad picked me up, yay(:
Claire[ong] came over for dinner again, just like yesterday, hehe.
Still..it was fun:D
I think I used every single marker in her pencil case:X
So yup, did abit of homework.
Still got common wealth essay.
Sigh.
Ah well.

I will post again later:D

I don't think I'll ever be the same again.

2009-01-20T21:11:00.002+08:00

Three hours of sleep last night.
Guess it wouldnt have made a difference if I didn't sleep at all.
Back hurts, legs hurt, every part of me is crying for sleep, heh.
Can die.
Feels like someone threw a dozen knifes down my throat and heart.
So yesterdays house practice helped alot.
Sigh....it even hurts to laugh. [-.-]
School was ....
school?
I was totally lifeless all day.
Though Bea, Cheryl and Nicky managed to cheerme up alittle.
haha.
Assembly was okay.
Did CIP work for Ms Hu even though I was totally tired, so I managed to do some good today(:
came back with Clarissa and Claire[Ong] managed to get some rest on the bus but the ride was pretty jerky.
heh.
We met some people on board.
call me weird but I really dont see the point of being so desperate at such a young age. And whats the whole point of chasing after guys now, you have like the whole rest of your life to do that. Dont they know what their doing, looking at it from this angle, it seems really wrong.
And Im not the only one who's saying that.
Oh and Clarissa, it'll be alright, haha. Trust me, your not th first((:
came back round fourish.
Went for mass, came back then managed to catchup on some sleep.
Now back to the table, with the pen in my hand.
sigh, its taking everything and all I've got not to giveup, break down and never ever surface again.
Today was really suckish to me, heh.

Romeo, save me I've been feeling so alone.

Its going to be hard, you've just gotta try. Dont ever giveup.

2009-01-19T21:56:00.004+08:00

Today's been a long, long day.
With a lot of events.
Like a lost cell phone, 2.6km, Nice long phone calls and of cause tears of STRESS!
heh.
Yesterday was really fun.
So I shall talk about yesterday.
Seven((:
Was nice.
seriously.
So stayed in the canteen and had part 2 of last weeks conversation. But with more sense I must say.
So yay, I didn't bitch nonsensically((:
LOL, complaining about the rules in SJC.I must say they've tightened it alot.
But I wasnt there when the old principal was stationed so I suppose I can't compare.
But Im going to appriciate it one day in the future, yuppish(:
So waited with Clarissa, Naomi, Shaun, Gareth etc.
Till most left for session then me and Clarissa decided to head off early.
Catt...was quite boring, sad to say.
But I've got high hopes that it'll brighten up in time.
And maybe the guys could act...more of they ages? Ah well, Aunty Anna told me that it'll change in time.
So Im going to be optimistic((:
haha
So after catt was GB bible sharing.
Which was pretty nice I must say.
Even though most of the little ones didnt understand.
We made sure they were included(:
Then it was lunch with the choir(:
They waited for me, so sweet.
Thanks(:
haha, then soccer.
Which was fun?
haha
So sunday.

Today
School....was school.
No more texting under the table.
Not that I did last year:X
Maths Class.
Was made alive, if possible by Isabelle and Brigit(:
Then English dont get me wrong, I love english and Ms heng but the amount of work. GRR, can die.
After English was I think CD where Bea gave me this random quiz thingy to do.
I'll upload it over the weekend or something.
When Im not to busy.
heh.
House practice was alright.
Track run was okay.
Basically slacked off first two rounds before finishing the last two within a few minutes.
To avoid being chosen to run for long distance.
Im a sprinter luh.
I'll get bored if I run long distance.
heh, yay! Nicky joined me this time.
For the same reason. haha.
Then came back by cabfare to church for mass with claire
And it was during mass when she discovered she lost her phone.
So Jon had to call the station and all.
But it was returned in the end.
thank god.
Think we got too carried away chatting about who know's what.
haha.
So after mass came back, had dinner
Called (Isa)belle had a really nice long chatt.
which I had to end because I found out from her that I had extra h/w I didnt even know I had.
But it was really nice having some one to talk and chit-chat and laugh on the phone with.
Besides Claire[Cheng] yupp(:
Now its all cold hard shortened texts.
sigh, ah well.
..............................................................................................................
I decided to check my email.
and I know normally I'll just delete chain messages.
But this one made me cry.

What would you do if every time you fell in love with someone you had to say good-bye?

What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
(scroll down!)

What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness?

(scroll down!)

What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt?

(scroll down!)

What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else and you could never have them?

(scroll down!)

Some people live and some people die.

(scroll down!)

But I want to tell you I love you and you are a true friend...

(scroll down!)

That I will always be here for you when and if you need me...

(scroll down!)

If I died tomorrow, you would be in my heart forever.
(scroll down!)

Would I be in yours?

If you care about the person who sent this to you then you will send it back.
(scroll down!)

You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next year, and don't want to talk at all the year after that.

(scroll down!)

So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life.

(scroll down!)

I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you.

(scroll down!)

Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you.

(scroll down!)

Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will.

(scroll down!)

Remember, everyone needs a friend, someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this e-mail and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and always will.

(scroll down!)

I L OV E MY FR IE ND
FO R E V ER! ! !

'I will miss you forever'

I've never really cherished all my wonderful primary childhood friends and memories till it was time to say goodbye.
Even though Im trying my best to move on, its little things like this that make me think and remember again.
You know who you are, and if your reading this, I'll like to thank you too for making a difference in my life(:

Im not over you. Damn. And its not like Im happy about it.

Randomness

2009-01-17T18:52:00.003+08:00

I shall do this quiz. Simply because more than 5people I know did it.
Heh.

Bold the statements that are true to you [Red]
Italicize the statements that you WISH are true [green]
Leave the Fibs alone

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch TV these days.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome. [It sucked. Bigtime]
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes. [Almost all the time, heh:X]
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm totally smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings. [And I hate it, btw]
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping
I would rather shop then eat.
I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before. [And regretted it, for crying out loud, heh]
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie. [though I have a clip in my phone:X]
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friends's ex.
I am happy at this moment!
I'm obsessed with guys.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant. [Free fries, heh]
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausage.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people. But not all the time.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
I have owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at least one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

All you're going to ever need.

2009-01-17T18:27:00.003+08:00

What is love?
Love is a powerful feeling which dwells in two persons or more.
Loving someone is having to let yourself go, all your worries, hurts, pains.
When your in love your just so happy and contented that you forget anything or anyone else.
Love can change someone.
Love is having the power to be yourself without worrying about what others might think.
I believe love the power to change the world, universe.
Love can stop wars, riots and fights.
Love was the reason that God created mankind.
Love was the reason of our existence.
When your in love, a feeling of peace passes you.
And every living thing starts with love.
Everyone needs to be loved.
Most material things can't buy love.
Dont believe me?
Take a look at some troubled Stars, they've got money, flashy cars and all.
But they still arn't happy.
Why? Because they dont know how much happiness and joy love can bring you.
When your in love, your in your happy place.
<3>

2009-01-17T18:16:00.002+08:00

Yesterday almost killed me=P
Went for school.
Took 136 back with Nicole.
Came home, started on my stupid never-ending pile of work.
Went for PTM with Dad.
Where Claire and Clarissa were on duty. Stationed the PA system thingy which was on level three.
Too stoned during th talks and Clarissa kept messaging me to go up there and join them.
heh, so in the end I relented.
Stayed there till the counsellor's talk was over then went back down.
Was joined by Claire((:
So after that had some "refreshments" before Dad sent us back for Choir Meet.
Which was th usual, fun.
Matt's away, heh.
Coming back on Wednesday.
Yay! No more stupid guitar at night from his room.
:D
After that came home and Crashed.
Slept for twelve hours straight.
I doubt a fire alarm would have stirred me.
And now I've got a jetlag, heh.

Th things I do.

2009-01-15T00:14:00.003+08:00

Heading of to bed.
Finished th passage after like forever.
Claire, claire claire.
Yes, I am.
Satisfied.
Greesh...haha.
Chinese tution tomorow.
YAY!
Yup, Im weird.
Most people hate chinese and tution.
But I love Chinese tution even though I hate chinese.
Prob going to get some understanding out of the evil textbook later.
Im so going for mass.
(:

It only becomes a pain when you make it one.

2009-01-14T22:12:00.005+08:00

Heh, I got a ton of homework today.
Didn't get free periods today so yeah.
And I went to visit OLGC with Claire[Cheng] so I didnt do it in th afternoon.
I missed her so much.
it was really awesome hanging with her today. th visit was really nice.
So touching to walk into school again.
six years really pass in a blink of an eye.
Man, Claire wow, havent seen you for like a month.
And you've grown so much, you actually come up to my eye level.
Which is something.
Mrs Ho and Ms Koh were same as usual.
Though Mrs Ho said I looked really tired.
heh, I suppose.
Its a miracle I havent fallen asleep on th keyboard yet.
Seeing Im blogging midway doing my Chinese essay.
Which is gibberish to me by the way.
I have to translate a whole chunk of English text into chinese.
xian.
sigh.
After that, holding back tears, we went to surprise Genesa at her house.
Another one I havent seen at all in the past 7weeks
Really missed you guys.
);
haha
So I didnt manage to go for mass, because of chinese, maths and all.
Claire[Ong] came over after though.
Helped me with my homework alot.
Thanks, man I had no idea how hard it was swinging back from slacking in December to studying till odd hours like now.
Well its really exhausting, thats all Im saying.
Crap, I just found out, I dont have Emath tomorrow.
So I shouldn't have wasted my time doing that worksheet.
And I could have gone for mass late.
But still have gone.
Seriously, after such a long time without touching a single sum, its really hard adjusting back into school mode.
SecOne math is a real pain in th ass, let me tell you.
All I can see on the paper is this to the power of two and that to the power of three and so on and so far and whatever else in the maths universe
Thank God for Claire. If not I really think Id be up all night.
heh.
And she helped me with my chinese exercise too.
So so far, th okay subjects in my school is, English.
Th subjects I am bound to absolutely adore are Geography, history, PE, Lit and chem(:
Basically Science and English based subjects.
Im not really sure about maths or Science.
Math rocked, in Primary.
But now...
Hm, give me time.
hehe, just found out, I dont have to translate every stupid sentence.
I just go get an online translate to do th job for me.
sigh...
Fine, ill do it myself.
Even though th translator's smiling at me.
((:
I will not give up.
Ever.
and ever.
So back to the Chinese words.
Will update over weekend.

I'm never giving up.
I will strive to do my best. I dont care.

I'll never give up fighting till the end
If I fall along the way I'll get up and try again
But never shall I accept the fact of defeat
I've set goals in life and those I must meet
But never will I let negativity hold me down
Those who think positive I keep them around
Never shall I dwell on things in the past
Bad times come but never do they last
I shall never give in to those who are weaker than I
If I give up now why not lay down and die
Never Give Up

-Mark Howard

Four more paragraphs.
And I just found out my dictionary's outdated.
Im not surprised.
Seeing th last time I touched it....was yongs ago.

Thats not the way I go.

2009-01-11T15:26:00.003+08:00

Wokeup abit today, late.
haha, after the wakeup call I got ready then went back to sleep(:
And wokeup again at 645.
Went to church and only Angela, Charmaine and Claire were there.
So we sang th entrance without music, only towards th end when Jon came(:
After that it was breakfast in th canteen.
And then a few people left.
And a few people entered.
yeah.
haha.
I felt really annoyed at myself today.
For not excercising self-control...I felt really mean now, looking back.
Even though others have th same opinion as me, I really shouldnt "gossip" too much.
I wont mention names.
But even though I really cannot stand some people.
I should try to be nice to them.
So Im sorry to those at th table just now, who got an earfull, heh.
thats not me.
So I hope its not to late to make a new year resoulution.
Which is To have your own opinion and all.
But to keep my emotions in check and not let it go too far.
Which I hope it didnt today, heh(:
Then it was catt.
Clarissa walked me there.
Really nice talking to you girl(:
So we got "sorted" into groups.
12 to a class.
Im in Elijah(:
With Karen, Alison and Celine.
And a few other people....
Then Shawn and Aunty Serene split us into two groups(six, six)
Then they asked us to share on what we expected from secone catt.
My answer made me go -.-"
hahahaha, but it was okay, my catt teach seem nice enough.
School tomorow.
Man, I cant wait.......
heh.
Jess send me alot of songs, thanks<3.
haha.
Some of them I dont even know.
:P
But their nice enough.
Im already looking forward to the december holidays.
LoL.
Randomness.

Hillary Duff

You act like you don't know me {You Think you're going nowhere}
When you see me on the street {When you're walking down the street}
Yo're makin' like I turn you off {Acting like you just don't care}
When I know you think I'm sweet {When life could be so sweet}

It don't have to be like that {Why you wanna be like that}
I guess you're insecure {As if there's nothing new}
If you say what's on your mind {You're not fooling no one}
I might answer "Sure" {You're not even fooling you}

So I walk a little slower {So walk a little slower}
And I try to catch your eye {And open up your eyes}
Sometimes it's so hard to see {Sometimes it's so hard to see}
The good things passing by {The good things passing by}

There may never be a sign
No flashing neon light
Telling you to make your move
Or when the time is right

(So) Why not
Take a crazy chance
Why not
Do a crazy dance
If you lose a moment
You might lose a lot
So... why not
Why not

Why not take a crazy chance
You always dress in yellow
When you want to dress in gold
Instead of listening to your heart
You do just what you're told

You keep waiting where you are
For what you'll never know
Let's just get in to your car
And go, baby go

Oh... oh
I could be the one for you
Oh... yeah
Maybe yes
Maybe no
Oh... oh
It could be the thing to do
What I'm saying is
You gotta let me know

You'll never get to heaven or even to L.A.
If you don't believe there's a way

Why not
Take a star from the sky
Why not
Spread your wings and fly
It might take a little
And it might take a lot
But... why not
Why not

Im satisfied^^

2009-01-10T15:50:00.003+08:00

Im back from SecOne camp.
Pretty fun I must say.
was abit homesick for th first two nights, heh.
But thanks to bea, cheryl.
I could laugh again.
bea, I love you for letting me cry on your shoulder.
And Ethel, you rock at camp faciling so come and facil us again next year.
Isabelle, thanks for being my "cellphone", haha. And for Introing me to who to stay away from and who to love. Oh and teaching me th cheer "Everybody Dance Now" haha, I still get confused when I attempt it((:Your loved too<3
Vernetta, you crazy loveable senior.You too rock th hell out of us.
thanks for pushing us even when you were on th verge of giving up.
And Leane, thanks for waking me up each morning after each late night and cheeringme up at th dinner table with all your jokes. And for setting up my sleeping bag for me when I was Busy(:(: Your Loved(:
Debbie, you really cant keep still man.haha(:
Dashima, you rock it girl.

Being at Camp for three days made me realise how lucky I was.
take th showering time for example.
they don't have warm water there so th waters freezing, and when I say freezing, I mean freezing.
And I don't have the luxury of bathing however long I want to like i do at home.
We're only given five minutes.
Which is just enough time to give yourself a quick wash.
And at the dinner table..
At th start of camp they check all your bags and confiscate any food items, not that I have any.
So you have no choice but to eat at mealtimes cause you've got nothing to eat when your hungry.
Anyway I was starving at all mealtimes because of the activities so I finished my food in a few seconds=P
And you've gotta be practical.
I wont mention names but some people at camp we're complaining at every slightest thing.
Food got chili also cannot eat.
At least some people I know who really cannot eat, tried right?
I mean beggars cant be choosers.
So yeah.
At camp, Ive learned, you cant be fussy at all.
You just gotta do what you've gotta do.
So being at camp was a really learned experience from me.
Campfire;;;
The Campfire I hear was bigger last year.
An well,
But the campfire to me was really enthu.
Mm, 1faith screamed their lungs out with cheers that night.
I don't think my throat will ever be the same, heh((:
And my legs too.
their were as sore as hell. But they dont hurt as much as th last time, Yay(:
Thanks to running around the blocks about fivetimes.
I lost count.
I actually wanted to run again but Leane stopped me, thank God.
More accurately she went "You crazy ah?"
maybe I am, hmhmhm.
haha.
So Came back yesterday around twelve.
Before going for mass.
Tried to sing but my voice was pretty hoarse and it hurt, but I think I managed to get the tune right[?].
Then it was dinner at th market before meeting.
And then Claire's mum sent me back.
And I sleeped and woke up at around two today.
Then read and re-read my twilight series.
Because im too slacked to go out.
Cant wait to see Claire[Cheng] on Wednesday.
Going back to OLGC.
Nice.
I feel like changing the picture on my blog.
hm.
.....................................................................

2009-01-04T17:08:00.001+08:00

YAY[:
I know the blog skin sucks alot luh.
But its better then nothing.
heading off now.
tag or text if anything.
<3

Everything's Crashing around me.

2009-01-04T15:30:00.003+08:00

For once I cant be bothered to do anything with my screwed blog.
So if anyone wants anything, just ask me.
Or leave me an Offline Messsage at my Msn.
I couldnt stop the tears streaming down when this song was played.

I just wanna be alone tonight
I just wanna take a little breather
Cause lately all we do is fight
And every time it cuts me deeper

Cause something’s changed
You’ve been acting so strange
And its taking its toll on me
Its safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine
Without you

Called you up cause’ it’s been long enough
And you said that you were so much better
We have done a lot of growing up
We were never meant to be together

Cause something changed, you were acting so strange
And it’s taken its toll on me
It’s safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine
Without you

Cause something changed, you were acting so strange
And it’s taken its toll on me
It’s safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I’m seein myself so differently
I didn’t wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought id say
I’m fine,
Without you
Without you
Without you
Without you
I just wanna be alone tonight,
I just wanna take a little breather.

WARNING: Really depressing post comingup.

I've never felt so lost before. And I know I cant blame anyone as much as I want to. Because I know the only one to blame for this out come is me, myself.
I feel so Awkward.
I miss Claire and all my bestbuds.It feels so weird not having any of the Clique at SJC.To walk in the class and not have you to sit with. I miss how good it feels like to laugh in school with you guys.I miss having a shoulder to cry on. I miss the Joking, and your ability to make me cheerup without a word when Im seconds away from tears. I miss seeing you the first thing when I walk into the school hall. I miss our morning LOL's. I hate this feeling of uncertainty. And no words can describe how much I detest being emo. I dont know how I can carry on this long, long, long school week without you guys. Even though Ive met Pretty Nice people there, they arnt the same as you guys. YYou dont know how much I regret. If only I could rewind the clock and tell myself to study just a little bit harder for Chinese. At least I could have scrapped a B or an A. Its kills me knowing that I knew this could happpen before yet I never really did anything about it. And my teachers disaapointment in me. The fact that I could have done so much better if I just put in an extra effort each day still haunts me. And I really hope that all the PrimarySix's listen to the naggings, scoldings and all the advice. I did, I heard all of those stories, I knew, and I didnt even do anything. I thought it wasnt to late, but turns out it was. So just do your best, and if your best isnt enough, at least you have the condolence that you gave all you got. And it wouldnt be so bad.

Claire-SJC's a good school and Im "Alright" there, but I know your not at TP, and Im really sorry that I didnt study hard enough to get there. I really miss you too.

I will update on today when I feel like it.

UPDATING(:
Came back after facebooking[I gaveup staying away]
Re-read the prev-post.
Whoah, Emo man.
But true, yeah.
heh.
Soccer later.
I might go.
See first.
So today.
Went for Seven, managed to wakeup after last night's party.
Matthew wokeup, called claire, went back to sleep.
TSK(:
Went for breakfast with th rest of choir then came home.
Blogged.
Went for lunch.
Then came back and attempted to change skin.
All the skins are either black, got prob or something else.
heh.
Ok.
Im going to attempt one more time.
(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:

2009-01-03T17:47:00.003+08:00

Im going to change my blogskin so this posts going to be short&quick.
Wokeup at 12-100 today.
Im on this quest not to facebook for a week.
Lets see how long Ill last yeah.
seeing I just joined the Facebook Addict Rehab.
Heh.
Seriously.
Read and do this and youll be cured.

12 step program to rehabilitation
1. Admit you are addicted to Facebook
2. Join Rehab Center For Facebook Addicts
3. Introduce yourself and how long you've been an 'addict'.
4. Begin by 'deleting' one Friend at a time every time you log in.
5. Continue by not adding any more Friends/Groups
6. Use the system as if it were a 'cell-phone', only for emergencies.
7. Check out Myspace or Hi5
8. Realize how much better Facebook is
9. If you still have over 100 friends and 25 groups to delete, you will have to pick up the pace.
10. Remove Facebook from your 'Favorites'
11. Celebrate the deleting of your last friend/group
by inviting them all out for some Real Life fun.
12. Log in to facebook and write your last note or wall message before you finally go and cut off the connection.

You have now been Saved! I wonder what's on TV...;)

Taken from the centre.

Any bets on how long Ill last without facebook?

Lol(:
IwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebook
IwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebook
IwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebook
IwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebook
IwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebook
IwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebook
IwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebook
IwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookI
willnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebook
IwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebook
IwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebook
IwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebookIwillnotusefacebook.

Now Im going to Friendster, hehehehehehe.

Get back.

2009-01-02T21:34:00.006+08:00

-Im sorry, I really dont anymore.

Heard this song on the way to my first day of secondary school.
The lyrics are really nice.
((:
Daniel Powter - Best Of Me

I was made the wrong way
won't you do me the right way
where you gonna be tonight
'cause I won't stay too long

maybe you're the light for me
when you talk to me it strikes me
won't somebody help me
'cause I don't feel too strong

Was it something that I said
was it something that I did
or the combination of both that did me wrong

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along
Though it's not your favorite song
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
you know that some of us spin again
when you do, you need a friend
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
and I hate the thought of finally being erased
baby that's the best of me

Everything's behind you
but the hope still stands beside you
living in every moment
have I wasted all your time

Was there something that I said
was there something that I did
or the combination I broke that did me have

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along
though it's not your favorite song
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
you know that some of us spin again
when you do, you need a friend
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
and I hate the thought of finally being erased
baby that's the best of me
baby that's the best of me

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along
though it's not your favorite song
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
you know that some of us spin again
when you do, you need a friend
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
and I hate the thought of finally being erased
baby that's the best of me

First day of school was really nothing much.

Just had assembly, walked in to hear the principal scolding the sec4's or 3's, I cant rmb.

And our form teach was treating us like Primary Ones the whole day.

Told us what to do when we go to the canteen and all.

I know she means well but as if we dont know.

haha.

New year resolutions so far so good.

Even the chinese one.

Well...my chinese teacher seems nice enough, heh.

So after school(135) went to compass point for lunch and abit of shopping.
great, its one day and I already broke my new year resolute not to shop so much.

Ah well, I'll try harder.

After that came home, went for mass.

I swear, NEVER AGAIN WILL I SIT NEXT TO CLARISSA ANNE TEO!!!!!=P

hahhaha.

And no Im not going to talk about it.

Lets just say I was laughing so hard I couldnt even sing anything.

heh((:

So came home, had dinner.

Then went to play snake&ladders with Naomi.

Dont look at me that way, she gave me the puppydog pout.

heh.

Yeap, Im a sucker for it((:^

So Im prob going for mass on sunday if I can wakeup, that is.

And I sweared abit today.

Da--OOPS!

Ill try harder, I swear.

<3<3<3

Stupid photo.-.-

Lol.

Jaime is being randomly weird today, I apologise.

Its the January fever man.heh.haha.

2009-01-01T19:38:00.009+08:00

The stupid phone line got jammed last night so I didnt get a chance to reply to all your wishes let alone send any myself so I wish you all a very Happy New Year! here.

So last night's party was a blast. Stayed up till' twelvish. Basically watched Tv, Disney, Watched Movies.

Had Dinner went to wish the neighbours.

Then came in and watched the countdown on channel five.

The Claire[Ong] had this idea about putting a cheeseball in your mouth till' it turned 2009 so its like you kept in your mouth from year to year or something like that so We all[Matthew, Gareth, Claire, Naomi].

Thank God 2009 came fast, it was melting in my mouth, heh.

Photos(:

This was at the Altar Servers Lunch

Didnt Manage to wakeup for mass, Sorry.

I'll really miss 2008 and all the fun its been packed with.

Thanks and Grattitude(:

-God; Thanks for being there always especially through tough times.You've never deserted me.

-My Family((:

-Claire[Cheng]; Thanks for being there whenever I needed you without fail you would always be free for a chat no matter where or when. All the crazieness you had to putup with. Your the best girl bud Ive ever had and Im lucky to have gotten you.
See you Real soon(:

-All my wonderful Friends at OLGC~ Even as we go our seprate ways, sixyears of memories will always stay intact.

-Matthew; Study hard k bro? And dont hog the control and play guitar when Im trying to sleep, heh.

-Rebekah; Those walks back home were fun, heh((: And one of my new year resoulutions will be to never ever tell youXD

-Claire Ong; Hey pretty(: Take care of matt yeah Sis? LOL, MAOW!

-Yknowyourspecialtome; Thanks for making me cry that night, thanks for showing me how much I can love someone with my whole heart, thanks for making me stronger, thanks for teaching me how to let go, thanks for showing me who I was, I have no regrets. And Im not anggry((: Oh! And We're not going out, I know you want to know, heh.

-The wonderful people a SFX(Esp, The choir&GB); Thanks for the laughs and smiles. You guys make my DayXD

-PSLE(:(:

-the blessings that 2008 has showered on me.

-And you; for letting me come into your life this year, thankyou.

FlashBack and things Im grateful for, 2008.

-Sports Day[May]; Although Red house Didnt get first place or an cup, it thought me that 'its not all about winning' but about enjoying the games. It also thought me 'sportsmanship' Just pick yourself up, no use whinning over what happened just try harder the next time.

-June flew by like December did, but it was packed with fun all the same.

-October first[I turned 12!]; Thanks for all the presents and wishes etc. you guys rock my life. Your the wonderful reason that I get out of bed each day(:

-PSLE[October 3-8]; like I said in my earlier posts, PSLE has thought me alot about perseverance, focusing on tasks and overcoming obstacales. So yeah.

-November[7th-17th]; Australia was a really beutiful place and although I should know by now not to get attached to a holiday destination, I was actually "homesick" for a few days. Ah well, Duty calls.

-PSLE Results day; the most nerve-wrecking day of my life, heh. Mrs Ho distracted us momentarily with pizza. Thanks!

-Christmas week; Really Rocked. It was packed with tons and tons of fun. Although on Christmas day I was so tired I could barely open my eyes. Anyway Most of the time its Christmas Eve and the eve of the celeb thats the most exciting cause your more anticipated then when it comes your like :"ok........"Many thanks to the Choir and my friends.

-And New years Eve; the party was rockin' yeah. Thanks to everyone who came.

Regrets): Ill try harder in 2009

-Im not gonna bombard you with them so Ill make it shortsweet(:

-I regret not studying to my full potential for PSLE. And I realise now that what people have been telling me are true, actions have consequences. Now I cant go with my bestgirlbuds to the same school and I dont have a wide range of choices.

-I dont regret what happend in jan, so yeah.

-Anger. Its a powerful emotion that can burst at times even though I dont nessicarily mean too.

If I hurt anyone in any way in 2008 I apologise. Forgive me.

NewYear resoulutions.

though they never come true, still points for trying.

-I will study hard.

-I will gain weight. This is a must, I lost 8kg this year, terrible. My bodys gone haywire, heh.

-I will try to go for mass faithfully each day, even if Im late((:

-I will help around the house more.

-I will get fit and join volleyball.

-I will be nice to everyone.

-I willl save money and shopp less.

-I will get an A for Chinese.

-I willl learn guitar or keyboard.Although I dont know how to read notes.

Ahwell.

-I will learn to read notes

-I will swear less. I did quite abit this year, eh.

-I will sleep early, if thats even possible.

After writing that I realise most of it is doable, except the Chinese, cash and music notes ones. well, Ill come back and post next year and we'll see.

Now Im going to stuff my face with cod fishballs. Dont bother asking.

2008-12-30T13:42:00.002+08:00

Finally fixed the problem with my blog timer.
Realised I had it set to Pacific Time -.-"
Just came back from JB.
Went to do my malaysian IC.
Got to go back there again at three.
Xian, man.
Anyone wants bubblegum?
heh.
And I wont make it back for mass again.T.T
And Im freakin aching all over.
I cant even walk in a straight line luh, wth.
Shows you how unfit I am.
[Excuse the language please, Im in pain.]
So came back, causeway wasnt jammed.
Went to buy my uniform at SJC.
Then it was lunch at the market, again.
Mega update on the uniform.
Its like any ordinary pinaform but its got a zip and no belt.
Actually the belt is like glued to the pinaform.
then theres a skirt.
and a tee-shit.
and the white shirts coaller is so hard its like cardboard.
I have no comment about it, heh.

School starts this friday, feelings mutual. heh.

And Rebekah, dont ask.
your never going to win(((((((:
haha.
Though Chocolate might help.
heh, oops!

LOL

Text me if you need anything.
Will update when I feel like it.

Cute huh?^